Woman #1: You’ve got two more years left, and then do you know what you’re going to be? Fifty years old.
Woman #2: And I get better-looking every year.
Daughter: No, you don’t!
–R train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Woman #1: You’ve got two more years left, and then do you know what you’re going to be? Fifty years old.
Woman #2: And I get better-looking every year.
Daughter: No, you don’t!
–R train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Young society reject to same: You’re the psycho-freak out! You touch people’s ears at random!
–AMC Theatre at Lincoln Center
Overheard by: G-Lime
A woman to friend: My friend just became a manicurist. She had her first client today and she only has one hand.
–Forham University
Woman almost forgetting her sunglasses: I would lose my ass if it wasn’t attached to my neck!
–A Train
Overheard by: Don
Student: I think the guy selling cell phones on the street made off with my uterus.
–Touro College of Osteopathis, Harlem
Coworker to another: You have thighs now. When you came here, you had no thighs.
–1250 Broadway
Suit #1 to suit #2: He has the feet of a nine-year-old girl!
–44th & Lexington
Little girl: Can I have a job here?
Clerk: How old are you?
Little girl: Nine.
Clerk: Well, you have to be at least 14 to work at the library.
Little girl: Oh, yeah? Well, you have a big head!
–Queens Library
Chick: You know, even though I'm 22, every time I go out, when I'm home my mom still waits up for me.
Random guy: No, she doesn't.
–6 Train
NYU girl #1: What about Harrison Ford? You know, Indiana Jones?
NYU girl #2: Ew! He's like, 80.
NYU girl #1: He's 67, thank you, and I'd wrangle his whip anytime!
–Washington Square
Queer: She’s very uncomfortable with her face. Well, she is 60. She said to me, “Why can’t I just grow old? Why can’t I just grow old like everyone else?” And I wanted to say, because you’re Farrah Fawcett, that’s why.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Valerie Goodman
Santa: Merry Christmas, young lady.
60-something woman: I’m old…
Santa: Well, I’m older… Look at my beard!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: IS and JC
Salesgirl #1: My friend totally looks like George Costanza.
Salesgirl #2: Wow.
Salesgirl #1: Except picture him 20 years younger.
Salesgirl #2: Okay.
Salesgirl #1: Oh, and with hair.
Salesgirl #2: Uh huh.
Salesgirl #1: And his hair is blonde.
Salesgirl #2: Right…
–Rothman's, 17th & PAS
Overheard by: shopper
Dude on cell: Alright, listen up. If the guy gets up and walks away, he's not dead. If you come back and he's still lying there, he's dead, you follow? So, in that situation you are just going to go through the motions like we discussed.
–23th & 7th
Overheard by: mel
Random man on bicycle to doorman: You never know when you're going to eat a bad mushroom and die.
–87th St & York Ave
Overheard by: Critter
Jersey woman, looking at a case with brains that suffered from major stroke: Oh my gawd… They probably died from that!
–Bodies The Exhibition, South St Seaport
Guy shopping in art supply on a cell: So you're banking on dying young, then?
–Art Store, Williamsburg
Spacey old guy to friends, calmly: I want to murder that guy. (even more calmly) I've got bloodlust in my heart.
–9th St b/w 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: JKW
Woman on cell: You want to be cremated, right? (pause) Well, then what the hell are we going to do with you?
–Park Ave
BBW: She had her first colonic when she was twelve.
–Brooklyn Heights
