Woman: She thinks she’s so special cause she’s pregnant. Try being 35 and not pregnant! That’s harder to do!
–81st & Amsterdam
Very pregnant woman, standing on the subway, stares at a young black guy who took the last seat.
Young black guy: What do you want lady? I didn’t get you that way!
–Union Square station
Drunk B&T chick: Look, it’s Penn Station. We could go home right now!
Cranky stranger: That sounds like a good idea to me.
–downtown A train
Overheard by: Thinking the Same Thing
Saleswoman: Hi, can I help you?
Rich woman: (ignores her)
Saleswoman: Hello…? Hi. How are you? Can I help?
Rich woman: What do you want?
Saleswoman: Um…I was just saying hello?
Rich woman: Oh! You were being friendly! How cute! Hello to you, too.
–3rd & Madison Ave
Guy, singing: “I want to be a part of it/ New York/ New York…”
Passing woman: Where the fuck are you from?
–38th & 7th
Overheard by: Agrees with woman
Sidewalk solicitor, eagerly carrying clipboard: Would you please help the…
Pitch target: No spam! (walks away briskly, not looking back)
–7th Ave
Tourist lady: Man, there must be something going on in New York today!
Flustered man: It’s called Christmas, bitch.
–Disney Store, 5th Ave & 55th
Dude: Do you think if I had a tail I’d be happy?
Girl: I’m just going to sit here quietly and ponder the ridiculousness of that statement.
Random guy: …Didn’t you steal that line from Arrested Development?
Girl: Yeah, so?
Random guy: Well, if you’re going to make fun of him for being an idiot, he should at least get to make fun of you for being a plagiarist.
–C train
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Mid-western mother to suit crossing against light: Excuse me, sir?
Suit, in mid-intersection: Yes?
Mother: You’re setting a bad example for my daughter -crossing against the light.
Suit, continuing on his way: Yes, I am.
–45th & 5th
Tourist woman: I am waiting until the sign says “walk”!
10-year old: Lady, then you're going to be here for a while.
Tourist woman: I don't want to cross by myself.
10-year old: Uh. I'll cross with you.
–Greene St
British tourist to passing New Yorker: Excuse me, could you please tell me where…
New Yorker, walking briskly: Fuck off! I got problems of my own!
–E 77th & 2nd
Overheard by: D M A
