Thirty-something mom: Just to be clear, it isn’t a vibrator. It’s just a dildo.
–TKTS line
Guy on cell: So you’re expecting the crackhead’s knife to be sterilized?
–outside Grand Central
Thirty-something mom: Just to be clear, it isn’t a vibrator. It’s just a dildo.
–TKTS line
Guy on cell: So you’re expecting the crackhead’s knife to be sterilized?
–outside Grand Central
Fat, middle-aged female crossing guard: Every time I do that I shit the bed.
–29th St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: JimmyJohn
Guy: I’ve pissed the bed before. Hell, [gesturing towards girl] I’ve pissed on her!
–48th & 8th
Young guy: I was in a spaceship speaking Arabic.
–Chambers & Broadway
White guy on cell: You’re Japanese. You should like Swiss.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lizzerd
Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade.
–Reade St
Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is?
–cafe, Empire State Building
Overheard by: dogstar
Girl #1: But, like, why do all the gay guys have to be so hot?
Girl #2: I know. At least all the lesbians are ugly!
–Times Square
Hot queer in suit: I swear if one more thing goes wrong, I’m just going to pull my skirt over my head and scream!
–Broadway & 51st
Guy: It’s almost enough to make me try women.
–8th between 39th & 40th
Girl on cell: The alcoholic who waved a shotgun at you on Valentine’s Day? That’s who’s taking you to the Al-Anon meeting?
–Bowery & Houston
Girl on cell: The two guys you slept with — their friend told me to tell you that he has herpes.
–42rd & Lex
Doctor: Well, I can’t guarantee that after the circumcision it will look exactly like what you described.
–New York Presbyterian Hospital
Guy: I need to see a doctor. I’m not dying, but I have a leaking, stinking navel.
–Doctor’s office, 67th & Amsterdam
Woman: It’s not interactive. It’s just active. It’s not inter.
–Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy: Wow! It’s so old!
–Egyptian exhibit, The Met
Overheard by: BKLYN
Teen girl: Ooh, take a picture. Someone got stabbed here last night!
–Outside the W, Times Square
Overheard by: melissa
Asian tranny on cell: But we never smelt nothing cause we didn’t even know the body was there!
–51st & 9th
