Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade.
–Reade St
Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is?
–cafe, Empire State Building
Overheard by: dogstar
Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade.
–Reade St
Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is?
–cafe, Empire State Building
Overheard by: dogstar
Girl #1: But, like, why do all the gay guys have to be so hot?
Girl #2: I know. At least all the lesbians are ugly!
–Times Square
Hot queer in suit: I swear if one more thing goes wrong, I’m just going to pull my skirt over my head and scream!
–Broadway & 51st
Guy: It’s almost enough to make me try women.
–8th between 39th & 40th
Girl on cell: The alcoholic who waved a shotgun at you on Valentine’s Day? That’s who’s taking you to the Al-Anon meeting?
–Bowery & Houston
Girl on cell: The two guys you slept with — their friend told me to tell you that he has herpes.
–42rd & Lex
Doctor: Well, I can’t guarantee that after the circumcision it will look exactly like what you described.
–New York Presbyterian Hospital
Guy: I need to see a doctor. I’m not dying, but I have a leaking, stinking navel.
–Doctor’s office, 67th & Amsterdam
Woman: It’s not interactive. It’s just active. It’s not inter.
–Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum
Overheard by: Kristen
Guy: Wow! It’s so old!
–Egyptian exhibit, The Met
Overheard by: BKLYN
Teen girl: Ooh, take a picture. Someone got stabbed here last night!
–Outside the W, Times Square
Overheard by: melissa
Asian tranny on cell: But we never smelt nothing cause we didn’t even know the body was there!
–51st & 9th
Hobo: That’s it. I’m revokin’ ya hood pass! Don’t go past a hundred and tenth!
–80th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Jeremy Cristol
White girl on cell: I can’t take the subway now, it’s 10 o’clock. I’m not black.
–67th & 2nd
Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!
–Hoboken PATH
Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.
–F train downtown
Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Ben Beckley
Middle-aged Latino woman to younger black woman: Listen, I got rights, ok? I mean I’ll do the time for it, I don’t care. On this train you gotta give people respect, ’cause everyone’s a person. You give ’em respect, then you punch ’em.
–M train
Twentysomething girl on cell: Because I beat the crap out of him, that’s why I got fired.
–Continental Ave & Austin St, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sean Finnerty
