Black guy: I can not believe mah baby girl just graduated from high school! Come on, honey, I’ll let you pick where we gonna go fo’ dinner: Denny’s or White Castle?
–Yonkers High School
Overheard by: Snow White
Ghetto girl graduate: Ya’ll wanna go to Red Lobstah or what?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Kaitlyn
Woman, yelling to man: Look, you give me crack and I smoke it and we fuck. That’s what we do.
–130th, between Lenox and 5th
Overheard by: Juany
Queer on cell: At least have the decency to suck dick for coke!
–10th & Ave A
Small child: I feel so dirty.
–sand box, Prospect Park
Overheard by: braincurve
Guy: You’ll never even see a vagina in your life. I can at least pay for it.
–53rd & 8th
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Woman: And I was like, “Do you want my breasts to make the copies for you”?
–9th Ave
Overheard by: Michelle
Bag lady: Hey, those tits look great on you!
–Maiden & William
Overheard by: thanks, but they’re not fake
Airport security guard, to woman going through the security line: I said outerwear not underwear!
–LaGuardia Airport
Guy: Free New York Times Market Place! You need a motherfucking job? Get yourself a motherfucking job! Pay your child support! Free New York Times Market Place! Find yourself a motherfucking job!
–outside Port Authority, 40th & 8th
Black guy, to white guy: Wake up, sleepy cracker! It’s Monday; time for work!
–109th & Madison
Man in suit, on cell: It’s manly to want to take care of your family.
–Carmine & Bedford
Girl: Whatever, it’s disgusting. I mean, you can cum in my butt but not in my vag.
–Q train
Woman: I have sex in my vagina, not in my bottom!
–Prospect Park
Summer student: I don’t know where and I don’t know what, but I am getting something pierced.
–NYU Dorm, East Village
Girl: I just want to throw a rock at it and watch all the windows shatter.
–Sculpture for Living, Astor Place
Loud, nerdy guy: They’re basically a bunch of shitty MySpace kids with mutant powers. Like the hedgehog kid: his power is that spikes come out of his body, what the fuck is that? I could roll around in glue and syringes and get that guy’s power.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Zoh
Middle-Aged man: I think vampires are kind of stupid. They seem to care an awful lot about how they look and what others think. It’s like, who cares? You’re six hundred years old and on your way to hell, hello?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Someone who thinks he has a point
Asian girl: One of my cousins is a dragon.
–32nd St
Overheard by: sneakyintern
Thirty-something mom: Just to be clear, it isn’t a vibrator. It’s just a dildo.
–TKTS line
Guy on cell: So you’re expecting the crackhead’s knife to be sterilized?
–outside Grand Central
Fat, middle-aged female crossing guard: Every time I do that I shit the bed.
–29th St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: JimmyJohn
Guy: I’ve pissed the bed before. Hell, [gesturing towards girl] I’ve pissed on her!
–48th & 8th
Young guy: I was in a spaceship speaking Arabic.
–Chambers & Broadway
White guy on cell: You’re Japanese. You should like Swiss.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lizzerd
