Summer student: I don’t know where and I don’t know what, but I am getting something pierced.
–NYU Dorm, East Village
Girl: I just want to throw a rock at it and watch all the windows shatter.
–Sculpture for Living, Astor Place
Summer student: I don’t know where and I don’t know what, but I am getting something pierced.
–NYU Dorm, East Village
Girl: I just want to throw a rock at it and watch all the windows shatter.
–Sculpture for Living, Astor Place
Loud, nerdy guy: They’re basically a bunch of shitty MySpace kids with mutant powers. Like the hedgehog kid: his power is that spikes come out of his body, what the fuck is that? I could roll around in glue and syringes and get that guy’s power.
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: Zoh
Middle-Aged man: I think vampires are kind of stupid. They seem to care an awful lot about how they look and what others think. It’s like, who cares? You’re six hundred years old and on your way to hell, hello?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Someone who thinks he has a point
Asian girl: One of my cousins is a dragon.
–32nd St
Overheard by: sneakyintern
Thirty-something mom: Just to be clear, it isn’t a vibrator. It’s just a dildo.
–TKTS line
Guy on cell: So you’re expecting the crackhead’s knife to be sterilized?
–outside Grand Central
Fat, middle-aged female crossing guard: Every time I do that I shit the bed.
–29th St & 30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: JimmyJohn
Guy: I’ve pissed the bed before. Hell, [gesturing towards girl] I’ve pissed on her!
–48th & 8th
Young guy: I was in a spaceship speaking Arabic.
–Chambers & Broadway
White guy on cell: You’re Japanese. You should like Swiss.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Lizzerd
Guy: Oh my God, look. There is a Duane Reade on the corner of Duane and Reade.
–Reade St
Tourist: Can you tell me where the Empire State Building Is?
–cafe, Empire State Building
Overheard by: dogstar
Girl #1: But, like, why do all the gay guys have to be so hot?
Girl #2: I know. At least all the lesbians are ugly!
–Times Square
Hot queer in suit: I swear if one more thing goes wrong, I’m just going to pull my skirt over my head and scream!
–Broadway & 51st
Guy: It’s almost enough to make me try women.
–8th between 39th & 40th
Girl on cell: The alcoholic who waved a shotgun at you on Valentine’s Day? That’s who’s taking you to the Al-Anon meeting?
–Bowery & Houston
Girl on cell: The two guys you slept with — their friend told me to tell you that he has herpes.
–42rd & Lex
Doctor: Well, I can’t guarantee that after the circumcision it will look exactly like what you described.
–New York Presbyterian Hospital
Guy: I need to see a doctor. I’m not dying, but I have a leaking, stinking navel.
–Doctor’s office, 67th & Amsterdam
