Outgoing misogynist: See, my friend gives you a nine, but that’s because he loves Puerto Rican women. I give you a seven-and-a-half. [Lady nods without looking up from her magazine.] So, what do you think?
Head-in-hands misogynist: I think you just embarrassed me.
Outgoing misogynist: I think you overshot with that nine, that’s what I think.
–4 train
Overheard by: Alex
Dude #1: The Japanese can’t be that racist!
Dude #2: All I’m saying is, drop another couple of nukes on them and they’re still going to hate the blacks.
–Eastchester & Morris Park, Bronx
Girl: I think that dog is staring at me…
Guy: Don’t flatter yourself.
–Washington Square dog park
Overheard by: Dog and people watcher
Suit #1: She’s smart, funny, beautiful… What more could you ask for?
Suit #2: Yeah, but she probably votes. I don’t like women that vote.
–Union Station
Overheard by: Jacksonian Democracy
Info booth lady: I only have this map — it’s really not very helpful at all.
Tourist: Great! Thank you! This is exactly what I need!
–N train
Homie #1: Fuck you, nigga! You ain’t hustlin’!
Homie #2: No, fuck you! My shit is tight!
Homie #1: I’m still spendin’ money from ’93, nigga!
Homie #2: I’m still spendin’ money from ’88, nigga!
–119th & 7th
Overheard by: yvahn
Girlfriend: Ugh, I have the worst taste in my mouth.
Boyfriend: That’s ’cause you’re a whore.
Girlfriend: … I don’t get it.
Boyfriend: Your mouth tastes bad ’cause you suck too much cock.
Girlfriend: Oh my god! You’re such an asshole!
Boyfriend: I love you, baby.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: sweetpea
Dude #1: So I was, like, having intercourse with my girlfriend’s mom, and my girlfriend came home and caught us.
Dude #2: That happened to me before.
–D train
Overheard by: Ed
Trophy wife: Arthur, I’m sick of you buying me things and making me feel like I owe you! I want to work!
Suit: You can work on my dick.
–Leaving Louis Vitton, Soho
Boy trying to get teacher to call on him: Oh my god, I have a really good point to make!
Girl, just as eager: Shut up! Mine is better!
–Hunter College High
