Woman: What ever happened to Ceci?
Man: Ceci?
Woman: Yeah, Ceci. That little girl that got her fingers cut off. The pretty little crackhead with the beautiful soul.
–116th & Frederick Douglass
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Junkie lady: Wow, that thing is nice, what year is it?
Yuppie guy: ’06, I just got it.
Junkie lady: ’06? That shit ain’t even here yet. You better put that in a garage, nigga!
Yuppie guy: I don’t have money for that or for you.
–Bed-Stuy
Overheard by: Art Vandelay
Guido: Why don’t you get a real job?
Meter maid: I got a real job. And I give real tickets.
–Sheepshead Bay
Overheard by: Dan Hughes
Girl #1: Oh my god, he is so cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, I told you he was like, totally hot.
Girl #3: Yeah, he is. But he is so drunk, and such a walking STD!
Girl #2: I know. I’m drunk too, though.
–83rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Mr Gemini
White chick: That girl has so many STDs; she just has to!
–Sunset Park
Dude #1: Hey, look at that guy.
Dude #2: What guy?
Dude #1: That guy, he just moved behind the thing. Is he staring at those kids?
Dude #3: Maybe he’s a kid aficionado.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: brendon
Guy: If you could marry Dave Matthews right now, would you?
Girl: Yeah, I would; I would piss on his face!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yeah, I heard he likes that.
–John & Gold
Overheard by: Jon Margolis
Chick: Ugh….Just remind me to never eat Taco Bell on an empty stomach.
–Lorimer Street/Metropolitan Avenue station
