Girl #1: Oh my god, he is so cute.
Girl #2: Yeah, I told you he was like, totally hot.
Girl #3: Yeah, he is. But he is so drunk, and such a walking STD!
Girl #2: I know. I’m drunk too, though.
–83rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Mr Gemini
White chick: That girl has so many STDs; she just has to!
–Sunset Park
Dude #1: Hey, look at that guy.
Dude #2: What guy?
Dude #1: That guy, he just moved behind the thing. Is he staring at those kids?
Dude #3: Maybe he’s a kid aficionado.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: brendon
Guy: If you could marry Dave Matthews right now, would you?
Girl: Yeah, I would; I would piss on his face!
Guy: What?
Girl: Yeah, I heard he likes that.
–John & Gold
Overheard by: Jon Margolis
Chick: Ugh….Just remind me to never eat Taco Bell on an empty stomach.
–Lorimer Street/Metropolitan Avenue station
Drunk lady: I don’t know how you get all those fuckin’ girls. You’re
motherfuckin’ 70 years old!
Old man: My dick. My big fuckin’ dick.
–Carroll Gardens
Black woman: I’ll mess you up! I’ll be waiting for you downstairs, you man-on-man faggot! White trash!
White queer: You don’t scare me! I’ve dealt with the feds, I can
deal with you!
–Welfare office, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Sheep Overhearder
Black woman: Take that bag off your back.
White man: All it takes are two words: “excuse” and “me”.
Black woman: I’m not saying nothing to you.
White man: Sorry, I see that you only use your mouth for one thing, and that’s sucking dick.
Black woman: You are so rude. Take that back.
White man: Okay, I am sorry. I take it back. You also use your mouth for eating, as seen by the size of your enormous ass.
–4/5 train
