Girlfriend: Why are you banging your head on the pole?
Boyfriend: I’m making my head stronger.
Girlfriend: You don’t make it stronger that way, you just hurt yourself.
Boyfriend: It does both.
–Crowded E train
Overheard by: Laurie
Girlfriend: Why are you banging your head on the pole?
Boyfriend: I’m making my head stronger.
Girlfriend: You don’t make it stronger that way, you just hurt yourself.
Boyfriend: It does both.
–Crowded E train
Overheard by: Laurie
Dude: I fuckin’ love you.
Chick: I love you, too.
Dude: I will always love and respek you.
Chick: [Coos.]Dude: You were born into this life to be a woman, to be a wife, and to be a motha.
Chick: [Bats eyes.]Dude: And I am going to make you a motha.
–M60 bus, 116th St
Teen girl: What would you do if I ever did that?
Boyfriend: I’d bite your clit off.
–Virgin megastore
Overheard by: angie
Bitchy queen to young couple: Hey, are you guys kinky?
Tiny girlfriend, in ridiculously oversized fur: Excuse me?
Bitchy queen: I was just wondering if you knew how it felt to have an electric rod stuck up your ass.
–Lafayette Ave & E 4th
Old Brit, pointing to float: Who is that?
Wife: Oh, come on, Bill.
Old Brit: No, really. Is it Joey the Clown or something?
Wife: It’s a symbol of America!
Old Brit: [Confused silence.]Wife: It’s Ronald McDonald!
–Macy’s Parade, Columbus Circle
Boyfriend: Can you believe they're saying the temperature is gonna rise, like, 5 degrees over the next 100 years?
Girlfriend: Yeah, but it's all based on scientist's predictions and computer models.
Boyfriend: Predictions and computer models? C'mon!
Girlfriend: How do you think they predict anything?
Boyfriend: But to force public policy upon us based on these predictions and models is a mistake!
Girlfriend: Force public policy upon us? What are you talking about? Nobody's forcing you to do anything.
Boyfriend: Hillary Clinton taking oil company profits. There you go.
Girlfriend: (looks puzzled)
Boyfriend: Booyah!
–Pool, 79th St
Tour guide: So you guys said you liked The Velvet Underground, right?
Various tour members: Yes.
Tourist wife to husband: No, we don't.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: j
Fat guy: Just because you have a bus pass doesn’t mean you can go to the liquor store while I wait.
Small Asian girlfriend: Here, have a devil dog.
–Grand & Greene Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: megan m
White wife: The rabbi told me that most of the government officials there are currently African American…
White husband: Okay…
White wife: But that he’s going to be running for city council in the next election…
White husband: That’s good…
White wife: He said that lots of Southern towns now have African American city officials…
White husband: I know…
White wife: But that even though the town is majority African American, it has a good chance of coming back.
White husband: Honey?
White wife: Yes?
White husband: It’s just us here. You don’t have to keep saying ‘African American.’ You can say ‘schvartze.’
–Actor’s Temple, W 47th St
Overheard by: Big Larry
