Wife: l’ll just be two minutes.
Husband: Don’t lie to me.
Wife: Two minutes.
Husband: Don’t lie to me
Wife: Three minutes.
Husband: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Wife: l’ll just be two minutes.
Husband: Don’t lie to me.
Wife: Two minutes.
Husband: Don’t lie to me
Wife: Three minutes.
Husband: Yeah, that’s what I thought.
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: Don Willmott
Husband: The male hybrids seem to want to breed but the females aren’t interested, they just sit there and make no attempt to communicate with their peer group.
Wife: Are you being condescending? I sometimes think….I feel you’re being condescending, especially when you talk about the hybrids….
Daughter starts to cry.
Husband: This is never constructive. We’ll continue this later.
–7th Ave & 9th St, Park Slope
Overheard by: I really hope they’re gardeners
Girl: We were in the middle of having sex, and I was screaming, like, “Oh god, oh god.” He looked down at me and replied, “There is no God. I am your God.”
Guy: Uh huh.
Girl: It sucks because since then I haven’t been able to sleep with atheists. You’re not an atheist, are you?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sabrina
Girl: Jack, it’s snowing!
Guy: That explains why I’m hard…Sorry…Kiss me.
Girl: I hope it breaks off.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: timothy leary
Wife: Bill can’t fly because of the wheelchair. He can’t get out of it.
Husband: Surely there are planes with wheelchair access. We should ask for him.
Wife: Please, like he never asked himself? He just can’t fly, ever.
Husband: That’s not true. What do you think Teddy Roosevelt did when he wanted to go somewhere? He was in a wheelchair and he was the President so he had lots of places to go. Of course there had to be planes with wheelchair areas.
Wife: Oh, I never thought of him. You’re right. We should really tell Bill about that.
–JFK
Girl: I can’t stop thinking about having sex with you.
Guy: Uh, aren’t you being a little loud about that?
–University & 8th
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy: But I should get extra consideration since you named [Melanie] and [Alexandra].
Preggers: I did not name them. What the hell are you talking about? We named them together.
Guy: No we didn’t. You came up with names and I agreed with you. You named them. It’s my turn.
Preggers: Leave it to the white man to rewrite history.
–1 train
Guy: I really don’t watch that much porn.
Chick: I woke up in the middle of the night that one time, and you were totally sitting in your desk chair watching porn!
Guy: I was just switching files between hard drives and I wanted to make sure the porn file still worked.
–D’Agostino, 110th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
Man: I’m kind of disturbed by the fact that I’ve wanted to listen to Morrissey lately.
Woman: We can go back to my place and listen to Morrissey later.
Man: No one has sex to Morrissey.
–The Raven, Avenue A
Girl: If I don’t take a monster shit soon, I’m going to explode.
Guy: You should have a salad.
Girl: Salads don’t make me shit. Coffee and cigarettes make me shit.
–Garden Cafe, Inwood
Overheard by: Gorodish
