Middle-aged, overweight woman #1: How can these brownies be low fat? Look at these ingredients! Walnuts, almonds… This can’t be low fat!
Woman #2 points to a picture of Marilyn Monroe on the wall.
Woman #1: She was a size twelve, you know.
–Cafe Bacio, 71st & 1st
Overheard by: Emily Duncanson
Girl #1: How are you so fucking skinny!? All I see you do is eat, eat, and eat some fucking more! We just came from Dunkin fucking Donuts where you had a bagel and a fucking muffin! Now you’re eating fucking chocolate! How are you so fucking skinny!? You’re a fucking freak of nature!
Girl #2: Yo, shut the fuck up or I’ll vomit all over your fat ass!
–Q88 bus
Overheard by: Jackie
Girl: Do you want to go get some coffee?
Queer: No way! I don’t want to feel like a fat whore.
–H&M, Herald Square
Commuter dude #1: The cars on this line feel smaller.
Commuter dude #2: Yeah, it’s like they’re narrower by just a bit or something.
Commuter dude #1: Oh wait; I think people are just fatter.
–1 train, Upper West Side
Well-dressed woman to well-dressed man: It’s not my ears, it’s your ass.
–3rd Ave between 11th & 12th
Overheard by: Heather DuCharme
Black guy to white girl: Hey, Slim Goodie! I wanna take you home and fatten you up right now! Some KFC, that’s all you need to juice that ass up.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah Bitchards
Girl to friend: Girl, you know you got a hobbit ass
–Steps outside the Met
Overheard by: Dawn Duffey
Chick: My drama teacher said that she looked like she had been fed with a shovel as a child…He was my favorite teacher.
–1 train
Overheard by: Sidra Greene
Store woman: It’s so cold in here.
Store man: It’s really not so bad.
Store woman: Well, not all of us have a protective layer of blubber to keep us warm in the winter.
–Starbucks, 60th & Broadway
Chick #1: And I was like, goddamn, it’s food…I can eat it, you know?
Chick #2: Seriously. Just because she’s anorexic doesn’t mean she can impose her thoughts about food on you!
Chick #3: Wait, wait, wait. Back up. You ate a cracker you found on the floor of the subway?
–Chinatown Ice Cream Factory, Bayard Street
Chick #1: Where’s [Suzy]?
Chick #2: She’s in Vegas.
Chick #1: She is? How’d she get there so fast?
Chick #2: I dunno. She’s fat. She can fly.
–Starbucks, 53rd & Park
Girl: Like, I tried anorexia last year, and I only lasted, like, six months.
–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street
Overheard by: Mary Button
