Girl: Didn’t your mother ever teach you if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say a fucking thing?
Guy: Um…
Girl: You’re such a dick! God, what a motherfucker.
–1 train
Girl: Didn’t your mother ever teach you if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say a fucking thing?
Guy: Um…
Girl: You’re such a dick! God, what a motherfucker.
–1 train
Chick #1: So, then you sat on the floor and started kicking. You stopped and said we should smoke when we got back to our room, to piss her off.
Chick #2: Did we?
Chick #1: We didn’t have any cigarettes left.
Chick #2: But you have a pipe!
Chick #1: Where was I going to get pot at two in the morning?
Chick #2: You could’ve called someone. Damn, I wish I could remember last night.
–Fordham, Lincoln Center
Chick #1: Hey, how are you? I haven’t seen you in a long time! How’s life?
Chick #2: It’s great. My hip bones are sparking.
–NYU Silver Center
Girl #1: My grandma is coming into the city Saturday to bleach my cat.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Yeah, he got into the flowers and the pollen turned him canary yellow.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Well, it didn’t come off in the bath…
–82nd & Madison
Ladies’ man: I can’t understand it. First it was Armenians, now it’s redheads. It’s this incredible power I can’t control.
Friend: I know, dude. You’re a lucky pimp.
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Abram
Friend: So, what did you do last night, Amy?
Woman: Well, I kicked my husband off the bed so I could sleep with my daughter and Fluffy. Men are so overrated.
–5th & Madison
Overheard by: Tjay
Man #1: Hey, man, how’s your mom doing? I hear she’s kinda sick.
Man #2: Yeah, she’s not doing so well. She lost her second leg.
Man #1: What? She lost another one?
Man #2: Yeah, son. She called me the other day because she couldn’t find it. I went to her house and looked everywhere for it, but nothing, son… Nothing. It’s fucked up, you know what I’m saying?
Man #1: Yeah, son. That’s some fucked up shit. Damn, son.
–Atlantic & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: MS
Girl #1: I walked in on my boy masturbating while we where getting ready for sex.
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love masturbating before sex. It’s like a free orgasm.
Girl #1: Me, too. It’s, like, spiritual in my family.
–4th St & Park Ave
Chick #1: Before I forget, I need to ask you a question. If I had a penis and a vagina, would you still be my friend?
Chick #2: First of all, I would give you my Coach fanny pack so it would cover your ball sack, and then I probably wouldn’t ever talk to you again.
–31st & 7th
Overheard by: Amy Beckerman
Girl: I can’t believe you took me to Bryant Park to propose to me!
Boy: But I want to marry you!
Girl: And you got down on one knee and what did you expect me to say?
Boy: That you will marry me?
Girl: But I can’t marry you — you sleep with boys!
–B train, 42nd St
