Actually, That’s More Thought Than the Military Has Put into It

Dude #1: You know gay guys can’t be part of the Army?
Dude #2: Nah, man. That’s grimy. Why would they deny gay people like that for?
Dude #1: Well, lesbians are allowed to serve, just not male lesbians.
Dude #2: Dude, male lesbians are straight guys, aren’t they?
Dude #1: Oh, my bad. I meant gay guys. Yeah, gay guys.
Dude #2: Why can’t gay guys be in the Army?
Dude #1: ‘Cause they’re afraid straight guys will beat the shit out of them.
Dude #2: Well, why don’t they have, like, a separate battalion for them, you know what I’m saying?
Dude #1: Dude, that’s segregation. That’s illegal.
Dude #2: Isn’t it segregation by not allowing them to be part of the Army?
Dude #1: Word. That’s mad deep.

–E23rd St & Lex

Overheard by: Lisa

Posted on December 26, 2006
Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Government, Murray Hill and Gramercy

Once or Twice, Before Forgetting about Him

Brunette: But… I don’t know what to say to him. What do you say to that?
Redhead: Just tell him you wanna use him like a pogo stick.

–Line at Helen Hayes Theater

Posted on December 24, 2006
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Pick-up Lines, Theater

Now It’s Sex with the Same Guy at Random Intervals

Late-20s chick #1: I wish I was 22 again so I could just have random sex with some guy.
Late-20s chick #2: Yeah, me too… Me, too…

–Beer Line, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Still Pretending to be 22

Posted on December 21, 2006
Age/Aging, Friends, Madison Square Garden, Sex

You Never See Anybody Working on that, Either

Angry guy: I can’t believe they put up fucking scaffolding on my building!
Friend: What’s the big deal?
Angry guy: Once they put it up, it never comes down. And you never see anyone ever working on it.
Friend: It’s just scaffolding. Dude, you need to get laid.

–5th Ave & 12th St

Posted on December 17, 2006
Advice, Anger Management, Assholes, Friends, Guys, Sex, The Village

The Centuries of Oppression are All Part of Their Cover Story

Jewish guy #1: See if you can buy that broken cookie for a good deal.
Jewish guy #1 and #2 at same time: Fifty cents, yeah!
Jewish guy #3: That’s why we run the world.
All three: Yeah!

–Starbucks, 60th & 1st Ave

Overheard by: jeremy

Posted on December 12, 2006
Compliments, Food, Friends, Jews, Judaism, Money & Class, Starbucks, Stupidity

Makes Me Too Sick to Throw Up

Model: My agency is the only place where I feel at home, ’cause none of the men want to fuck me.
Friend: What about at Christmas with your family?
Model: Nope.

–Union Square

Posted on December 9, 2006
Family Ties, Friends, Holidays, Home, Sweet Home, Jobs & Careers, Models, Sex, Union Square and East Village

I Want to Believe That

Dude #1: Mike’s always talking about how he has no gag reflex.
Dude #2: Would you let him blow you?
Dude #1: Fuck no, I’m not gay!
Dude #2: Blow jobs don’t have a gender.

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: chelsea

Posted on December 9, 2006
BJs, Brooklyn, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Parks, Rumor Has It, Sexuality

Just Be Crippled So You’ll Need Me

Blond: You need to go jump off this balcony right now.
Brunette: It’s the first floor!
Blond: Good, ’cause then you’ll just break your leg. I love you, I don’t want you to die!

–80th & Amsterdam