Chipper male hairstylist: Hi! Did you miss me?
Female hairstylist, intense: I thought about you every day…
Chipper male hairstylist: You know I’m gay, right?
–34th & Lex
Overheard by: Snidely
Chipper male hairstylist: Hi! Did you miss me?
Female hairstylist, intense: I thought about you every day…
Chipper male hairstylist: You know I’m gay, right?
–34th & Lex
Overheard by: Snidely
Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Girl #1: Go plant your seeds in another garden.
Girl #2: But I like him, he’s my tree.
Girl #3: That tree belongs to someone else — he’s already been peed on!
Girl #2: But I peed on him first!
–44th & Broadway
Dude #1: So, you want to hear about my trip to Miami?
Dude #2: Yeah, why not — just let me order a bottle of J.D. first, then it will get really interesting!
Dude #1: Yeah, fuck Miami, let’s get dead drunk and plan a murder.
Dude #2: Seriously, who do you have to fuck to get drunk around here?
–Double Seven Bar, 418 W 14th St
Girl: It was great — so smooth and quiet and roomy — there was tons of leg room!
Guy: Mhmmm…
Girl: Like, like, say these are my knees…
Guy: Those are your knees.
–Outside Penn Station
Chick: I bet he’s fuh-reaky in the sack.
Friend: Definitely.
Chick: No… Like fuh-reaky… Like, not like normal freaky, how everyone needs to get it once in a while, but, like, weird freaky — like pulling up your pants and finding the closest exit. Did I ever tell you about the ice cream?
Friend, laughing: No!
Chick: This one time he was like, ‘Let’s have some fun’ and decided to tie me up. And then to, like, build anticipation or whatever, he went and got a bowl of ice cream.
Friend: Shut up!
Chick: I’m serious… And then I guess my damn cat decided he wanted a snack, too!
Friend, hysterical: Shut up! I can’t breathe!
–LIRR pulling into Penn Station
Dude #1: You know gay guys can’t be part of the Army?
Dude #2: Nah, man. That’s grimy. Why would they deny gay people like that for?
Dude #1: Well, lesbians are allowed to serve, just not male lesbians.
Dude #2: Dude, male lesbians are straight guys, aren’t they?
Dude #1: Oh, my bad. I meant gay guys. Yeah, gay guys.
Dude #2: Why can’t gay guys be in the Army?
Dude #1: ‘Cause they’re afraid straight guys will beat the shit out of them.
Dude #2: Well, why don’t they have, like, a separate battalion for them, you know what I’m saying?
Dude #1: Dude, that’s segregation. That’s illegal.
Dude #2: Isn’t it segregation by not allowing them to be part of the Army?
Dude #1: Word. That’s mad deep.
–E23rd St & Lex
Overheard by: Lisa
Brunette: But… I don’t know what to say to him. What do you say to that?
Redhead: Just tell him you wanna use him like a pogo stick.
–Line at Helen Hayes Theater
Late-20s chick #1: I wish I was 22 again so I could just have random sex with some guy.
Late-20s chick #2: Yeah, me too… Me, too…
–Beer Line, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Still Pretending to be 22
Angry guy: I can’t believe they put up fucking scaffolding on my building!
Friend: What’s the big deal?
Angry guy: Once they put it up, it never comes down. And you never see anyone ever working on it.
Friend: It’s just scaffolding. Dude, you need to get laid.
–5th Ave & 12th St
