Tranny teen #1: Y’all wig-wearin’ bitches just jealous ’cause my weave look fierce!
Tranny teen #2: I don’t care how fierce you think you look switching around with that horse hair tied all up in yo’ head. The minute you open yo’ mouf er’body know you ain’t got no pussy!
–PATH train from Newark to WTC
Overheard by: Manhattman
10-year-old girl #1 referring to Starter for Ten: Oh my god, that movie was really sexy.
10-year-old girl #2: I know! We are lucky it wasn’t X-rated!
10-year-old girl #1: You know, my mom has seen an X-rated movie before, and my dad has one.
10-year-old girl #2: Why does your dad have an X-rated video?
10-year-old girl #1: He’s just really into movies!
–Movie theater restroom, 11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dara
Chick: I have social anxiety.
Dude: Social anxiety? You played Jenga with my neighbors!
–Christy & Delancey
Overheard by: Tourist
20-something guy #1: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
20-something guy #2: Please. If you had been to prison I don’t think that you would have been the one doing the fucking.
20-something guy #1: I guess that’s true.
20-something chick: Fucking morons.
–Delancey & Orchard
Overheard by: Bang-Around Bob
Yuppie girl: Sometimes I feel like it would be fun to live in the projects.
Yuppie guy: Uh, why?
Yuppie girl: Everybody knows each other — it’s like summer camp.
Yuppie guy: But they shoot each other.
Yuppie girl: Yeah — summer camp, but with guns.
–99th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dan
Gym chick #1: I ran a whole half-hour today.
Gym chick #2: A whole half-hour?
Gym chick #1: Yeah, you know why? ‘Cause Star Wars was on and it was so good I couldn’t stop watching.
–YMCA, Park Slope
Overheard by: Jedi Master
Chick to friend: That guy in the Starbucks across the street was such a douchebag.
Guy behind her, leaning in: I can be a douchebag if you want me to [winks].
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Alanna
Willing guy: Let’s go stand over here…
Smoking hot girl: So, are you going to eat me on the hood of my car or what?!
–N train
Girl #1: So he slapped you with his penis?
Girl #2: Well, yeah — what else does he have?
–2 train
Overheard by: RetroSarcasm
Dude: Have you ever been to jail on Saint Patrick’s Day?
Girl: No. No, I have not.
Dude: It’s a party! It is such a party!
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: SB
