Little girl: I can climb over fences. Did you know that?
Mom: I don’t want to know that.
–Manhattan School of Music Precollege
Headline by: Sarah Bella
Runners-Up:
· “Dora the Explorer Will Teach Anything” – I’m not racist, I swear.
· “Dr. Spock’s Missing Chapter: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” – Barry Negrin
· “Razor wire: You can do it, Home Depot can help” – Sean S
· “You’ve been watching Daddy on COPS again, haven’t you?” – Bryan
· “Your Cage Got Mommy And Daddy Into A Lot Of Trouble” – JAG
Girl #1: So, are you and Evan still hooking up?
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. Yeah, we are. But, I mean, I don’t know how I really feel. It’s starting to get really serious! Like, right now we’re doing laundry together.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Guy: No, Tourettes have it better.
Girl: Yeah, they just spaz out.
–F train
Overheard by: Suriya Schmidt
Chick #1: I should go to sleep earlier. I want to, but for some reason I just can’t.
Chick #2, reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: I should also kill my roommate. I desperately want to, but I don’t think prison would agree with me. I don’t want to be someone’s bitch.
Chick #2, still reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: Are you even listening to me?
Chick #2, exasperated: What the hell do you want?!
–NYU
Blonde: Can you say ‘Happy Passover’ to someone?
Brunette: Passover is a happy holiday, I think. ‘Cause it’s about food and stuff.
Blonde: Okay. I wasn’t sure. ‘Cause, you know, Jesus died, so I dunno how that works. That’s not too happy…
–Olympic Diner, 8th Ave
Dude: I know you’re getting married, and I am totally happy for you, but if it doesn’t work out, I’m there for you.
Chick: Uh… Thanks.
Dude: I love girls that buy vibrators.
–4th & 6th
Overheard by: douglas G
Girl #1: Last night was ridiculous. I can’t believe that guy.
Girl #2: Yeah, you don’t remember anything. You blacked out so early into the night.
Girl #1: No, I didn’t black out! I just don’t remember anything!
–L train
Overheard by: Sydney M
Seven-year-old girl: What’s your name?
20-something: Uhhh, Katey. What’s yours?
Seven-year-old girl: Liz.
20-something: Okay, how old are you, Liz?
Seven-year-old girl: Seven. How old are you?
20-something: 22.
Seven-year-old girl: You’re old enough to be pregnant!
20-something: … But I’m not!
–M104 bus
Hobo: There’s an earthquake coming! Get up above ground!
Tourist girl: Oh my god! Was he serious?!
–C train platform, Times Square
Overheard by: caiiya
Little girl: If the teacher said if something was really, really good, would that make you really happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said if something was good, would that make you happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was sorta good, would that make you so-so?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was bad, would that make you mad?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was really bad, would that make you really mad?
Mother: It would make me sick!
–97th & 3rd
Overheard by: squid
