Chick #1: I should go to sleep earlier. I want to, but for some reason I just can’t.
Chick #2, reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: I should also kill my roommate. I desperately want to, but I don’t think prison would agree with me. I don’t want to be someone’s bitch.
Chick #2, still reading: Uh-huh.
Chick #1: Are you even listening to me?
Chick #2, exasperated: What the hell do you want?!
–NYU
Blonde: Can you say ‘Happy Passover’ to someone?
Brunette: Passover is a happy holiday, I think. ‘Cause it’s about food and stuff.
Blonde: Okay. I wasn’t sure. ‘Cause, you know, Jesus died, so I dunno how that works. That’s not too happy…
–Olympic Diner, 8th Ave
Dude: I know you’re getting married, and I am totally happy for you, but if it doesn’t work out, I’m there for you.
Chick: Uh… Thanks.
Dude: I love girls that buy vibrators.
–4th & 6th
Overheard by: douglas G
Girl #1: Last night was ridiculous. I can’t believe that guy.
Girl #2: Yeah, you don’t remember anything. You blacked out so early into the night.
Girl #1: No, I didn’t black out! I just don’t remember anything!
–L train
Overheard by: Sydney M
Seven-year-old girl: What’s your name?
20-something: Uhhh, Katey. What’s yours?
Seven-year-old girl: Liz.
20-something: Okay, how old are you, Liz?
Seven-year-old girl: Seven. How old are you?
20-something: 22.
Seven-year-old girl: You’re old enough to be pregnant!
20-something: … But I’m not!
–M104 bus
Hobo: There’s an earthquake coming! Get up above ground!
Tourist girl: Oh my god! Was he serious?!
–C train platform, Times Square
Overheard by: caiiya
Little girl: If the teacher said if something was really, really good, would that make you really happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said if something was good, would that make you happy?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was sorta good, would that make you so-so?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was bad, would that make you mad?
Mother: Yes.
Little girl: If the teacher said something was really bad, would that make you really mad?
Mother: It would make me sick!
–97th & 3rd
Overheard by: squid
Tranny teen #1: Y’all wig-wearin’ bitches just jealous ’cause my weave look fierce!
Tranny teen #2: I don’t care how fierce you think you look switching around with that horse hair tied all up in yo’ head. The minute you open yo’ mouf er’body know you ain’t got no pussy!
–PATH train from Newark to WTC
Overheard by: Manhattman
10-year-old girl #1 referring to Starter for Ten: Oh my god, that movie was really sexy.
10-year-old girl #2: I know! We are lucky it wasn’t X-rated!
10-year-old girl #1: You know, my mom has seen an X-rated movie before, and my dad has one.
10-year-old girl #2: Why does your dad have an X-rated video?
10-year-old girl #1: He’s just really into movies!
–Movie theater restroom, 11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dara
Chick: I have social anxiety.
Dude: Social anxiety? You played Jenga with my neighbors!
–Christy & Delancey
Overheard by: Tourist
