Chick #1: So, he was laying on top of me and, y’know, the thing popped up…
Chick #2: So you slept with him?
Chick #1: No, I said, ‘You better deflate, ’cause I’m not having sex with you.’
–Outback Steakhouse
Overheard by: Meagan
Chick #1: So, he was laying on top of me and, y’know, the thing popped up…
Chick #2: So you slept with him?
Chick #1: No, I said, ‘You better deflate, ’cause I’m not having sex with you.’
–Outback Steakhouse
Overheard by: Meagan
Girl #1: I’m not going with you.
Girl #2: Why not?
Girl #1: I have to go home and cook for lesbians.
Girl #2: Oh, your mom?
–Times Square
Overheard by: From now on this is my excuse for everything
Headline by: Mandi
Runners-Up:
· “But Don’t They Usually Eat Out?” – Hobo Whisperer
· “I Think I’ll Make Dyke L’Orange” – Peter
· “If I dont do it, dad will do it, and she’s a lousy cook.” – Extra Character
· “Ohhhh Pllllllease…. She licked your pussy once… ONCE!” – Mike Chmiel
· “Pass the Cunnilinguini” – I’m not gross in real life
· “They’d be happy with a box lunch” – Flem
Teen girl #1: I hate riding in her car.
Teen girl #2: I know! It smells like dog, and then you look like dog.
–Bushwick
Overheard by: -|
Guy: These shoes are so comfortable I can walk in them!
Girl: That could quite possibly be the dumbest shit you have ever said.
–Neptune Ave & Ocean Pkwy
Overheard by: i am that guy
20-ish girl #1: Wait, so the midget had a peg leg?
20-ish girl #2, annoyed: No. The midget was the peg leg!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Gretchen
Headline by: Ignatius Gerumpany
Runners-Up:
· “And He Had a Pygmy for an Eye Patch” – Jordan
· “Jerry Springer will never run out of material…” – alex
· “Pinocchio’s Tragic End” – Tristan Davis
· “The rigor mortis kept him nice and stable.” – internev
· “Transformers Porn Is Too Confusing” – Jenny C
Hot blonde: … So that fucking asshat actually cried and said, ‘Is this because you have morals and I don’t?’ And I was like, ‘Yes, you fucking asshat. I’m dumping you because you have no morals and you cheated on me with femdoms!’
–Central Park
Girl: Leggings are not pants! Leggings are not pants! And look at the shorts on that one! I can see her butt connection.
Guy: Her crack?
Girl: No, it’s not her crack. It’s the, you know, part where it connects up underneath. I can see it!
–3rd floor bridge, Hunter College
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Little girl: I can climb over fences. Did you know that?
Mom: I don’t want to know that.
–Manhattan School of Music Precollege
Headline by: Sarah Bella
Runners-Up:
· “Dora the Explorer Will Teach Anything” – I’m not racist, I swear.
· “Dr. Spock’s Missing Chapter: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” – Barry Negrin
· “Razor wire: You can do it, Home Depot can help” – Sean S
· “You’ve been watching Daddy on COPS again, haven’t you?” – Bryan
· “Your Cage Got Mommy And Daddy Into A Lot Of Trouble” – JAG
Girl #1: So, are you and Evan still hooking up?
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. Yeah, we are. But, I mean, I don’t know how I really feel. It’s starting to get really serious! Like, right now we’re doing laundry together.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Guy: No, Tourettes have it better.
Girl: Yeah, they just spaz out.
–F train
Overheard by: Suriya Schmidt
