Chick #1: You know how people will, like, tell their parents a bunch of really horrible lies to make whatever they need to tell them seem not as bad?
Chick #2: Yeah…
Chick #1: I think that’s what I’m gonna do.
Chick #2: What’s worse than getting pregnant, dropping out of school, and moving to Jersey?
–3 train
Pudgy guy: I got her number.
Female friend: Oh, you did?! Wow, you must have been charming.
Pudgy guy: I know!
Female friend: I wouldn’t give you my number.
Pudgy guy: Oh, I know… The alcohol helped.
–89th & 3rd
Teen girl: Did you know it’s not Brooklyn-Queens Day anymore? Now all of the city gets off from school.
Little brother: It’s because the other boroughs got jealous.
–Alley Pond Park, Queens
Overheard by: Rebecca
Desperate wannabe bridezilla: Let me ask you a question — if you’re at a wedding and the bride throws the bouquet directly to you instead of to the whole crowd, does it still count?
Friend: I don’t think any of it really counts.
Passerby: Way to kill the mood.
–Elevator, 11th & University
Overheard by: MissPinkKate
Chick #1: Thanks, bitch.
Chick #2: I’m obsessed with you!
Chick #1: A restraining order couldn’t stop my love.
–Canal St, Chinatown
Overheard by: i’m scared
Girl #1: Anyhow, I kept telling him no, but he did. Then this morning I realized that I was raped.
Girl #2: Oh my god…
Girl #1: Yeah, but it was the best sex I ever had. But I didn’t want it.
–B train
Chick #1: You’re not trying.
Chick #2: Yes, I am.
Drunk guy: What’s your name, beautiful?
Chick #2: I don’t have one.
–Off the Wagon bar, MacDougal
Overheard by: NYU Student
Girl #1: Did you hook up with Josh last weekend?
Girl #2: Yeah, we got really drunk and I blew him and we did anal. I dunno if I want to lose my virginity with him, though.
–86th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Kandiru
Little sis: I don’t know. I’m just really confused. Like, how am I supposed to know what I want in a guy? You know? Like, what’s your perfect guy?
Big sis: One with 6 weeks to live.
Little sis: Huh?
Big sis: Nevermind… God, that would be great, though.
–1 train platform, 23rd St
Girl #1: My grandma is coming into the city Saturday to bleach my cat.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Yeah, he got into the flowers and the pollen turned him canary yellow.
Girl #2: Bleach your cat?
Girl #1: Well, it didn’t come off in the bath…
–82nd & Madison
