Girls

Hobo: I’m tired of your bullshit.
Girl: Me, too.

–E 14th St & 1st Ave

Overheard by: Angie

Chick: Wait, so he was the black dude from Tennessee on the debate team that you were talking to?
Dude: Yeah. Well, no. He was normal.
Chick: What do you mean?
Dude: He was white.

–Soho

Overheard by: drunk at the bar

Guy: Excuse me, miss. Excuse me. Excuse me! Woman, move!
Girl: Dude, I’m not a tourist.
Guy: Oh. Sorry.

–59th St & Lex

Chick: We missed our stop.
Guy: You slept right through it.
Chick: Why didn’t you wake me up?
Guy: I tried, you wouldn’t wake up. You just showed me your pussy.
Chick: That sounds like me.

–N train

Overheard by: shewuzshaved

Sketchy Guy in trenchcoat: Hey, you ladies want some juice?
Girl #1: Oh my god! He just tried to sell me drugs! One day in New York, and some guy tries to sell me drugs. This is awesome!!
Girl #2: Baby, I think he’s coming on to you.
Girl #1: Oh, you sick bastard!

–43rd & Broadway

Overheard by: Angie

Girl #1: So I felt really bad for him because he’s 53 years old and just got fired from the one job he knows how to do. But then he got that horse and his life turned around.
Girl #2: I know, he has a large studio in Soho so it has plenty of room to run around, and now he no longer has to ride in cabs or subways.
Girl #1: Yeah. I should get a horse too.

–Union Square & 16th St

Girl: I smell barbecue!
Guy: Close your legs.

–Queens Center Mall

Overheard by: charninazard

Guy: Yeah, we call my brother’s girlfriend Swiss Miss.
Girl: Is that because she’s Brazilian?

–Purity Diner, 7th Ave, Park Slope

Overheard by: Cleo

Guy: He’s kind of cute.
Girl: No he’s not, I do not approve.
Guy: Whatever, I think he’s a really interesting person.
Girl: Of course he’s interesting. He’s addicted to coke and he’s a gay porn star and we know all of this about him and we’ve only known him for 5 minutes.

–no idea bar 20th St & 5th Ave

Soccer coach: You have to kick from your shoelaces.
Girl #1: I don’t have any laces!
Girl #2 with mismatched shoes: Do you like my shoes?

–P.S. 158, 77th & York

Overheard by: Jen