Girl #1: I never want to have kids.
Girl #2: Me neither, but I’d totally get pregnant with a celebrity’s kid. Then I’d be rich for the rest of my life.
–A train to Far Rockaway
Overheard by: M
Girl #1: I never want to have kids.
Girl #2: Me neither, but I’d totally get pregnant with a celebrity’s kid. Then I’d be rich for the rest of my life.
–A train to Far Rockaway
Overheard by: M
Girl #1: That’s a cute dog, I have one too.
Girl #2: Thank you.
Girl #1: Is that a toy terrier?
Girl #2: I don’t know. I just know he’s cute.
–Broadway & Spring St
Overheard by: Holden
Ghetto guy: Why I be so ashy?
White chick: It’s because you’re black, right?
–Canal St & Centre St
Drunk girl: Is that a bathroom I see?
Conductor: It’s out of order.
Drunk girl: Ok, I’m going in there.
Conductor: It’s out of order!
Drunk girl’s friend: I don’t think we can use that one, let’s go find a place to squat.
–LIRR
Overheard by: hbs
Old woman: Did you just come from school?
Little girl: No.
Dad: We just came from the zoo.
Old woman: Oh, the zoo! Did you like it? Did you hear about that crocodile hunter? I thought that was just awful. Playing with crocodiles and all, you don’t do that, do you?
Little girl: No.
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: katie caroline
Girl: Ok, let’s name some idioms.
Guy: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you go first.
Girl: Ok. ‘Hit the hay.’
Guy: ‘Suck the dick.’
Girl: Ummm…
–114th St & Broadway
Girl: Is this a real rock, or was it, like, grown in a laboratory?
Professor: It’s real.
–Barnard University
Girl: If I were a lesbian, I’d totally go for her!
Guy: Who?
Girl: Priscilla! Well…I mean, if she weren’t my sister.
–M23 Bus
Overheard by: Claire
Little girl in sushi restaurant: Hey! Guess what? I just farted!
Mom and dad ignore her.
Little girl: I said I just farted! And I farted big! Ewwww! And it smells like rotten eggs! Wanna smell?
Little girl lets one rip.
Mother to father: So how was your day?
–Upper West Side
Headline by: Colin McCleod
Runners-Up:
· “Courtney Love: The Early Years” – Claire
· “Ew-nagi” – Mr. Fancipants
· “Gives new meaning to “silent but deadly”” – Will
· “I had to fart a lot to get my boss’s attention…” – alex
· “If We Ignore It, Maybe It Will Just Go Away” – Ian
· “Ignore-ance is Bliss” – Nick
· “Luckily, Rosie O’Donnell was able to refine her act” – prmsrng3
· “Pull My Finger” – Jose Hernandez
· “Practicing for the Teenage Years” – Brian
· “Reason number seven why sushi is a popular dining experience.” – Extra Character
· “Since “How My Day Was” is Self Explanatory…” – Veronica
· “Sounds a little like George W Bush and North Korea’s relationship” – Empty Refrigerator
· “To Air is Human. Earplugs, Divine” – Qasar
· “Unfortunatly, the father spent his day with the chronic masturbator son.” – ToraMaikeru
· “We thought you should know: You’re adopted.” – Jeff
· “What do you have to do to get some attention around here!…crap on the floor?” – pdz
· “Why Mommy and Daddy don’t have sex anymore” – Kristin
· “You’ve got to ac-cent-uate the positive… Flat-u-late the negative…” – Mike Chmiel
Teen girl: I’m not saying I wish I had a penis. It would just be nice to be able to pee standing up.
Teen guy: Peeing standing up is a lot like eating grapefruit… One wrong move, and you could squirt yourself in the eye.
Teen girl: Oh my god… seriously?
–Famous Original Ray’s Pizza, 7th Ave
