Girls

Chick #1: I mean, you are like totally naked on a table from the waist down.
Chick #2: Were you totally embarrassed?
Chick #1: Well, it hurts so fucking much that you are like in pain shock, and you can’t even think about whether you are embarrassed or not.
Chick #2: Do you, like, talk to the woman?
Chick #1: What the fuck are you supposed to say? “How do you like my vagina?” And after she rips, she quickly presses down on my vag with her hand, as if that dulls the pain.
Chick #2: Oh, god.
Chick #1: Then she rubs you down in calamine lotion.

–Burrito Box, 9th Avenue

Teen girl: I wouldn’t call me bi but more curious. Nut when I was fooling around with her I thought to myself, “I’d definitely do this again.”

–1 train

Overheard by: Mike Smith

Girl on cell: What, did she say she thought I was going to hit her or something?…There was a customer there!

–Broadway & 70th

Overheard by: Vanessa Robinson

Chick #1: You know I wanna lose some weight, especially in my hips.
Chick #2: I felt like that a while ago. I was dating this guy and when him and I broke up I wanted to be slimmer when I saw him again. Girl, I took some weight loss pills and lost about 20 pounds. When I saw him again he said I looked sick. I had fucked around and lost my ass. I still haven’t gotten it back yet.

–80th & 3rd

Overheard by: Divine Essence

Guy: Okay, so I know a female dog is called a bitch, but what is a male dog called?
Girl: Um, that would be a dog. Idiot.

–72nd & Columbus

Overheard by: Stephanie S

Girl #1: I have a question.
Girl #2: What is it?
Girl #1: Skipping makes you lose weight right?
Girl #2: Yeah….
Girl #1: Does that mean skipping backward makes you gain weight?
Girl #2: God, you’re a dumbass.

–Flushing

Girl #1: So, he kept on calling me and calling me and calling me.
Girl #2: Well…what did you do? Did you answer your phone?
Girl #1: Yeah…I answered the phone and said to him, “Thanks for stalking by.” He hung up after that and I haven’t heard from him again.

–Cafeteria, 7th Avenue

Office girl: I’m going to finish the rest of these balls then throw up.

–Office, Madison & 48th

Girl: So wait, is skullfucking only in the eye?

–13th & 5th

Overheard by: The King Adrock

Chick: How’s the leg?
Guy: They can’t find it anywhere…Halloween, you know.
Chick: Well, next year, don’t go as a pirate.
Guy: The thing is, next year I kind of have to go as a pirate.

–Central Park Zoo