Guy: Original flavored yogurt tastes terrible.
Girl #1: You should have seen the faces he was making.
Girl #2: Why? Does it taste like semen?
Guy: I wouldn’t know, would you?
Girl #2: I don’t know; I’ve never tasted plain yogurt before!
–Chelsea Market, 9th Avenue
Girl #1: ‘Twas never a merry world since of two–
Girl #2: Oh, fuck! Start over. I forgot the vibrator.
–Broadway Residence Hall, Columbia University
Girl #1: Holy shit! It’s a mime.
Girl #2: Shit. He ain’t a mime. He’s just gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ricky Chawla
Girl #1: Man, none of them are fine or anything, but you see them bodies on ’em?
Girl #2: Yeah, I bet those motherfuckers can fuck.
–Union Square
Girl, 7: I wish I could go in and play with them. I want to play with the turtles.
Zookeeper woman: They’re not turtles. They’re tortoises.
Girl, 7: Whatever. I want to step on them.
–Central Park Zoo
Chick #1: I want chocolate, but no nuts. What kind of candy bar doesn’t have nuts?
Chick #2: Um…Almond Joy?
–Bodega, 44th & 9th
Overheard by: Peter Shankman
Teen girl #1: He called me a female dog.
Teen girl #2: Oh.
Teen girl #1: Then I set him on fire, and he was like, “Okay.”
–Forest Hills
Girl #1: We should go to a karaoke bar, get a whole bunch of people and get a room.
Girl #2: A room?
Girl #1: Yeah, they have private rooms.
Girl #2: Oh! So you don’t have to do it in front of fat people!
–11th Street between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Cait O’Connor
Girl: You staring at me?
Guy: Yeah, but only ’cause you look so fine.
Girl: True. But you can stop checking me out now. These aren’t public titties, they’re private titties. For select audiences only, and you’re not a member.
–A train
Girl #1: So after we go to the MOMA, we’ll go to the Village and do some shopping–
Girl #2: What’s this “Village” you keep talking about? Is it far away?
–96th Street 1/2/3 station
