Wheresday One-Liners

NYU guy to tourist friends: Well, here's Grand Central!

–Broadway & Waverly

Guy on Sidekick to another: I wasn't sure if he was talking about Buffalo or Baltimore! I mean, I don't even know where Buffalo is! Is it a state?

–1 Train

Overheard by: amalthya

Ditzy girl sobbing on cell: You don't understand! They told me I was supposed to go to Penn Station but I just don't know where that is!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: queenofscots

Guy on cell: I don't get it–why go all the way to Ireland if you're not going to go see Stonehenge?

–Costco, Brooklyn

Girlfriend to boyfriend: Is this Times Square?

–85th & 1st

Overheard by: Special K

Posted on December 6, 2020
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boyfriends, Brooklyn, Couples, Crying, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Lies, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Penn Station, Questions, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

It’s Not Bacon?

Lady #1: Canadia is a continent!
Lady #2: No, Canadia is definitely a state.

–Subway

Overheard by: Cathi

Posted on November 10, 2020
Comebacks, Global Geography, Idiots, On the Subway, Women

I Don’t Recommend Asking for That, Though

Woman #1: I’m so going to get pregnant this year so I can have a tummy tuck done cheaper.
Woman #2: Fuck that. Go to Vietnam. They do liposuction for, like, five bucks. They call it ‘five dollar sucky sucky.’

–6th Ave, West Side

Overheard by: Raychel

Posted on September 26, 2020
Friends, Global Geography, Innuendo, Liposuction, Money & Class, Pregnancy & Birth Control

How Would You Feel If Someone Said You Were from the Upper West Side?

Preppy guy: She's half Mexican. Her father is from Spain.
Preppy girl: Wouldn't that make her half Spanish, not Mexican?
Preppy guy: What is the difference?

–83rd St & 2nd Ave

Posted on July 25, 2020
Global Geography, Preppies, Race, Stupidity, Upper East Side

Populated by Ignorant Yet Stylish Tourists?

Girl to friend: I don't even know what Morocco's like.
Friend: Well, they filmed Sex and the City 2 there–that's what it's like!

–M15 Bus

Overheard by: AMC

Posted on July 13, 2020
Bus, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Movies, On the Bus

We’re Sure There’s a “Brazilian Rainforest” Joke in Here Somewhere

Student #1: She’s from the Dominican Republic, right?
Student #2: Um, yeah, I think so.
Student #1: Is she classy…?
Student #2: Eh, not really, no. At the meeting the other day, she was wearing a skirt. I could see her cooch.
Student #3: [Just joining the conversation] What’s a cooch?
[Silence.]Student #1: Her vagina.
Student #2: Her forest. Except it was barren. There were no trees. Barren.

–Columbia University

Posted on May 24, 2020
Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Default, Foreigners, Global Geography, Questions, Students, Vagina, Waxing, Words

England's Sketchy Stepchild

Girl: So where's he from? He's from California, right?
Guy: No, he's from England.
Girl: Oh, Montreal!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Christopher Columbus

Posted on April 29, 2020
Foreigners, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

It Goes Perfectly with Naked Ladies and Stereotyping

Stripper: Hey, baby! You got a cigarette?
Gentleman customer: No, baby. I’m Jamaican — I only smoke the herb.

–Scores, East Side

Posted on January 16, 2020
Customers, Global Geography, Lower East Side, Offers and requests, Smoking, Strangers, Weed

If You’re So Smart, Explain the Wax

Buff dude #1: Hey, guy.
Smart guy: What’s up?
Buff dude #1: Can you settle something? Is Portugal in Europe or South America?
Smart guy: Uh, it’s in Europe.
Buff dude #1: See?
Buff dude #2: Okay, okay. But, like, the Portuguese they speak in South America — that’s not the same language as they speak in South America, right?
Smart guy: Actually, it is. Brazil was settled by the Portuguese, and the Spanish got the rest of South America, which is why they speak Spanish in the other countries that aren’t Brazil.
Buff dude #2: Oooh! Look who passed his geography class!

–Exodus Gym, Union & Metropolitan, Williamsburg

Posted on January 15, 2020
Education, Global Geography, Gyms, Idiots, Languages, Men

Reader Poll: Is This a Drug Deal?

Suit, stopping in front of random thug: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai.
Suit: Dubai?
Thug: Dubai!
Suit: Dubai?!
Thug: Dubai, motherfucker! Dubai!

–31st & 6th

Overheard by: MrMark

Posted on November 22, 2019
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Global Geography, Insults, Questions, Suits, Thugs, Weirdness

Global Geography