Global Geography

Chick #1: She was from Mexico, or more specifically, Brazil.
Chick #2: Oh.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Laura M.

Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Hey, are you interested in a membership?
Man: No, I live in Denmark.
Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Well, we have a location in Paris. That’s not too far, right?

–19th & Broadway

Overheard by: Matt

Drunk: See, my wife’s from Portugal and I’m from Italy —  I want my reparations tonight!
Wife: Not at this rate.
Drunk: Oh, I am so sleeping on the couch tonight.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Marilyn

Man: …and then we visited the Sphinx and the Great Pyramid.
Woman: The Great Pyramid is where the people had their apartments, right?

–The Village

Overheard by: Ava

Man: Hey, are you guys from Germany?
Tourists: Ja?
Man: I’ll tell you one good thing about Germany — the beer, the food, and the women.
Tourist: Ja.

–N train

Overheard by: Don Willmott

Hipster #1: What’s up with her? Is she a Lesbian?
Hipster #2: Well, she is Canadian.

–The Mountain Goats Show, Europa, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Becca

Woman: I think she’s Russian. No wait, I think she is from Tennessee, yeah she’s like this poor girl from Tennessee. So anyways, she goes to the Hamptons… Wait now I remember, she is from Utah; she’s Mormon. That’s it. So she goes to the Hamptons and meets this guy…
Man: Wait a minute, what’s a Russian Mormon doing in the Hamptons?
Woman, annoyed: [groan]

–Whole Foods Columbus Circle

Conductor: This is Prince Street. Not Half‐blood Prince Street, but Prince Street.

–N train

Overheard by: she later invited the passengers to debate whether snape was a criminal or a hero

30‐year old fan: … And then he sprinkled magic dust over her throbbing vagina…

–Book release, Spring & Mercer

Overheard by: santos l. halper

Man to five‐year‐old son: Yeah, you know Harry Potter is now in this play in London where he plays a naked guy that has sex with horses? Comin’ to Broadway soon.

–Harry Potter Pl on Mercer St

Overheard by: i don’t THINK that’s how it goes actually…

Girl glancing at boy reading Deathly Hallows: Does Frodo die?

–Strings Attached Theater Company’s performance of Life As We Know It

Black guy: Man, Asia and Africa is totally disinterconnected!

–E train

Guy on cell: She has no idea I’ve been on steroids all week!

–City Hall Park

Overheard by: Bria Dunham 

Indian chick: So I was watching VH1 and it was a show about child stars. You know, Drew Barrymore, Jodie Foster–
Asian chick: What? Jodie Foster was a child star?
Indian chick: Yeah. She was a child prostitute at like, 13, and they made a movie about it and everything.

Indian chick: Lookit that chart. They’re ranking condoms, see? Trojan Magnum, then Regular Trojans, then Trojan Ultra Sheer, then Durex Regular, then Lifestyles, and then Lifestyle Ultra‐Sensitive, see?
Asian chick: Mmm. Trojan Ultra Sheers, yeah.
Indian chick: But Durex has at least one more that should go in there! Durex has a Magnum too and it’s really good.
Asian chick: So yeah, what’s their deal?
Indian chick: Like, it’ all about how well they endure. Not how much pleasure they give. Fucking government chart. 

Indian chick: Anyway. I’m definitely thinkin’ about havin’ my kids in a foreign country. Like, dual citizenship. Just take a semester off, fly to Britain for a month, and voila.
Asian chick: That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. What for?
Indian chick: They just come out cooler, that’s all. 

–Chelsea Health Center, 9th Avenue

Overheard by: capn midnite