Woman #1: That skirt was terrible. I looked like I just got off the boat!
Woman #2: What boat?
Woman #1: …The boat from Ireland.
–Macy’s
Woman #1: That skirt was terrible. I looked like I just got off the boat!
Woman #2: What boat?
Woman #1: …The boat from Ireland.
–Macy’s
Light-skinned woman: Shit, you don’t know who I am; I’m black as far as you’re concerned. I could be from South Africa and shit and have seen worse things that you could imagine. Or I could be from Ireland and have gone through some Protestant shit.
–Jay Street station
Girl on cell: So I went up to my Professor just now? And I was telling him I’ve chosen a country for my project. He was like, “Africa? That’s not a country.” I was like, “Come on, what was all that Live 8 stuff about, then?”. He was just like, “Never mind. Africa is fine.”…Yeah, totally.
–The NYU Bookstore, Washington Place
Aussie guy: …no, see, goats in Australia are feral because they are an alien species. They just dropped them on every island in case people got shipwrecked. Then there’d be food. Problem was no one ever got shipwrecked.
–6 train
Overheard by: Kirstin Liu
Girl #1: So when I was in Italy, I went to France.
Girl #2: What did you do there?
Girl #1: I went to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
Girl #2: Still Italy.
Girl #1: Really?
Girl #2: Yeah. So what did you do in France?
Girl #1: I guess I didn’t go to France, then…
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Jesse Patrick
Girl on cell: Hey, that’s not fair! If you get to be Mr. Incredible, why am I Jewgirl?
–Washington Square Park
Guy on cell: Does anyone in Romania have ice cream?
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Greg Ashley
Woman: Why is it every time a guy beats his dick over the phone it sounds like a helicopter taking off?
–20th & 6th
Overheard by: phyllis pisacano
Girl: what do you call this style of architecture? Ugly road-houses?
–Mott Haven
Overheard by: yev
Guy: Isn’t England a state of the US, like Colorado?
–Alt.Coffee, Avenue A
Overheard by: dewo
Guy flipping through cell: Damn, why the fuck have I only got White people on here?
–27th & 7th pizzeria
Overheard by: dbrock
Fashion girl: How do you start a zoo? Do you buy the animals first or the place to put them?
–Conde Nast Building, Times Square
Overheard by: Jax
Crazy guy: Are your French Fries made with beef?
–McDonald’s, 85th & 3rd
Overheard by: Marc Cassata
Guy: Is it technically depression if you’re depressed because you can’t date a Gap model?
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: ProcrastYNate
Chick on phone: Where is Argentina?…Is there a beach?
–Madison Avenue office
Tourist guy: You know, for such a big city, it’s funny that New York has no rivers.
–Q train
Overheard by: Eva D
Navy lady: So he tried to tell me that this was the Empire State Building, but it’s Trump Tower!
–Columbus Circle
Girl: Sorry, I’m trying to be as French as possible.
French guy: Oh, I’m from Bawsten.
–N train
Overheard by: c. dubs
The train pulls out of the underground. Three Hispanic teens look outside.
Hispanic teen #1: You can’t see the Eiffel Tower from here?
They continue looking for a good twenty seconds.
Hispanic teen #2: That shit’s in Paris, yo!
–F train
Overheard by: Daniel Radosh
British chick: Now not only do I have to blow up Bank of America, I now have to blow up Macy’s.
–27th Street office
Teenage girl shaking her fist: Fuck you Duane Reade! Gah!
–76th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chella
Woman: I feel like I’m in eastern Europe. This Duane Reade is ghetto.
–Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th
Woman: So I was like, “Move your hand! What is this, Cinemax?”
–Times Square
Rich girl #1: You’ve got it wrong. The Shiites are the majority in Iraq.
Rich girl #2: Oh, well if the Sunni don’t like it, they should just move back to Iran.
–91st & Madison
Overheard by: Sennott
Clerk: What’s in the box you’re shipping?
Customer: A computer.
Clerk: Where’s it going?
Customer: Spain.
Clerk: Is that domestic?
Customer: No, that’d be fairly international.
–Kinko’s, Duane Street
Overheard by: Joshua Cody
Girl: Bitch, for the last time, Spain is not part of Latin America!
–Columbia University dorm
Fat guy #1: Yeah, she’s from Italy, she went to Venus to visit her grandmother.
Fat guy #2: Venus? How do you get to Venus?
Fat guy #1: Gondola.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Muffy St. Jacques
