Global Geography

Because Technically, White Is Just the Absence of Race

Puerto Rican girl: Wwhy you all cut that island in half? You racist against the niggas on the other half? They your neighbors!
Dominican girl: I know, right? It’s the hatred. Like, you all be racist against white people…
Puerto Rican girl: Yeah, but everyone is racist against white people. That don’t count!

–6 train

Overheard by: JS

Headline by: Zorak

Runners-Up:
· “Better to Be the Hater Than the Haiti” – madfigs
· “Just Like Proper Grammar.” – Jo
· “The Original ‘I Have a Dream’ Speech…” – Rahul Advani
· “White People: They Can Do That?” – Kiki Malibu
· “White People Would Have Weighed In, but They Were Golfing” – s h

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

He’s Talking About Blast Radius

Nosy customer: So what are you from, Germany?
Guy with accent: No, Austria.
Nosy customer: Ha, close enough.
Guy with accent: Err, no, not really.

–Ess-a-Bagel

Overheard by: Chris

Swedish Fishiness

Guy behind line of girls into the women's bathroom: Whoa!
Girl: Hey! You can't come in here!
Guy: It's okay, I'm Swedish–I'm practically gay.

–Madison Square Garden

Well, Those Are the Two Options

Chick: So, you’re working here now?
Barista guy: Well, had they taught me karate from a young age like they were supposed to I would be fighting shoguns in Japan right now.

–Park Slope coffee shop

Overheard by: kendell chambers

I’m Sure He Has Just the Job for Her

Black guy #1: She’s beautiful. Somewhere between Faith Evans and Beyonce.
Black guy #2: Faith Evans? That don’t sound beautiful.
Black guy #1: Well you know, shape of the face is like Faith, and she’s got that hair and skin like Beyonce. But she’s really smaller than Faith. Her body is amazing. She’s Caribbean.
Black guy #2: Oh. Yes. Caribbean. They do good work.
Black guy #1: Mm-hmm. They do good work all right. Good work!

–Madison Square Park

But I’m Pretty Sure Xavier’s Mansion Is in Weschester, NY

Student #1: Yo, what’s in Iceland?
Student #2: Nigga, what do you think? Ice, obviously!
Student #1: Don’t that mean Iceman lives there, then?
Student #2: Good question…

–High School for Environmental Studies, W 56th St

How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Eugenics

Bimbo #1: I just want to move to another state, you know?
Bimbo #2: Yeah, like further south?
Bimbo #1: No, probably Australia.
Bimbo #2: Oh my God, me too! My cousin owns this train station, we could totally go!
Bimbo #1: Nah. I have a date tonight.

Headline by: johnny pissoff

Runners-Up:

· “All Aboard the Pangea Express” – Stitches

· “And Australia’s like, “WTF mate?”” – one L

· “Ashley crushes yet another of Jessica’s plans.” – Heidi

· “Besides, i dont speak german…” – senny

· “Crikey! Thank God the Stingrays Got Me Before They Arrived.” – Katie

· “Going Down, But Not Under” – sigh

· “It’s good to see Condy getting out more” – mp

· “Wait, You Have a Date? That Doesn’t Even Make Sense.” – 08kjl


Click here to see the new Headline Contest

She Spoke Spanish, or More Specifically, Portuguese

Chick #1: She was from Mexico, or more specifically, Brazil.
Chick #2: Oh.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Laura M.

Think How Fit You'd Be by the Time You Got There

Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Hey, are you interested in a membership?
Man: No, I live in Denmark.
Lady hawking for Equinox Gym: Well, we have a location in Paris. That's not too far, right?

–19th & Broadway

Overheard by: Matt

There’ll Be No “Expiation” Tonight, If You Get My Drift

Drunk: See, my wife’s from Portugal and I’m from Italy — I want my reparations tonight!
Wife: Not at this rate.
Drunk: Oh, I am so sleeping on the couch tonight.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Marilyn

© 2025 OverheardinNewYork.com
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist