Hipster #1: I mean, dude, one bar, two ex-girlfriends? That is totally uncool.
Hipster #2: Totally.
–Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden, Astoria
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Hipster #1: I mean, dude, one bar, two ex-girlfriends? That is totally uncool.
Hipster #2: Totally.
–Bohemian Hall & Beer Garden, Astoria
Overheard by: Ian Wheeler-Nicholson
Two guys pass a poster for a Basquiat exhibit.
Guy #1: Is he dead?
Guy #2: Yes. He had AIDS.
Guy #1: How do they know what he looked like?
–Houston & Thompson
Guy #1: Hey, would you like a free cd?
Guy #2: Eh…
Guy #1: Do you like Led Zeppelin and Monty Python’s Flying Cir–
Guy #2: Oh hellll no.
–Williamsburg
Guy: I’m doing a house in the Hamptons, but I only know one person, this one girl. So I get an e-mail to meet everyone for drinks on Thursday, and I look at the names and it’s girl girl girl, girl girl, Santos, girl girl girl…and I’m like, “OK, am I the only guy in this house?”. And she said there’s a couple other guys coming out for 1 or 2 weekends. So I’m like, “OK, all girls, that’s cool. Are they cute?” and she says, “Yeah, they’re all cute.” So I said, “Well, I’m not matching the first couple weeks, they’ll think I’m gay!” She said, “Yeah don’t match, they’ll think you’re gay.” So I’m not matching. Plus they’re going to see “Santos” and think I’m freakin’…card-carrying…freakin’…off the boat, just swam the…freakin’ Florida canal…from Cuba or something.
–V train
Overheard by: kt
Guy: So you started drinking young?
Girl: I started drinking at 11.
Guy: Wow, really?
Girl: I was smoking at 9.
–F train
Overheard by: Vito Delsante
Guy: Hey, how you doin’?
Bum: Ah, shit. It’s the White man!
–116th & Amsterdam
Girl: Yeah, I’m so hot, I have to beat guys off with sticks.
Guy: You beat guys off with sticks?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Chris Ghirardi
Construction guy #1: Hey, pretty boy! Whatcha got under that skirt?
Guy in skirt: Your girlfriend’s fantasy.
Construction guy #2: Oh, shit. He got you there, dude.
–Broadway & 39th
Pretty boy: Well, it’s good money, but I don’t want to do it too much, because I don’t want people to think I’m like them.
Unpretty boy: Who, the other male models?
Pretty boy: I am not a male model! I am an actor! I just do it for the money.
Unpretty boy: Sure, sure, it’s just a gig, man.
Pretty boy: I am not a male model!
–14th & 7th
Guy #1: Yeah man, she was all over me at that bar!
Guy #2: For real? Why?
Guy #1: She was either skanked out on E or freaked out on skank.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: mfs
