Mom: Maybe if you listen to me more you’ll get to see Mr. Snap Crackles…Mommy’s going to call him now.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jake Glazier
Chick on cell :…and then the other day, I had a little baby! Yeah!
–116th & Broadway
NY Post guy: It’s been confirmed! He’s dead! Harry Potter is dead! Killed in a magic train bus explosion. Read it here!
–Penn Station
Guy: …and you can’t get birthmarks shaped like WB characters.
–Teany, Rivington St.
Guy: It’s so crazy, you know, leaving Manhattan.
Girl: I know, if you would have told me five years ago that I’d be living in Brooklyn I’d have laughed at you.
–L train
Overheard by: Benjamin
Guy: Where do you fall in the debate over wearing deodorant versus body odor?
Girl: Um, I didn’t realize there was a debate.
–70th & York
Girl: Did you just call him a dirty Guatemalan?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Are you sure you didn’t have the wrong number?
Guy: I don’t know what the fuck is going on.
–Chip Shop, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Domi
Teen girl: I wonder what Marilyn Monroe does in her spare time.
Teen guy: Lie in her coffin?
–2 train
Sorority girl: No, really. My brother took acid, thought he could fly, and jumped out our second story window. This really happened.
–Columbia University Library
Overheard by: Michael Niederman
Hipster guy: I love fried chicken and cocaine.
–11th & B
Guy: Yeah, alcohol…It’s my anti-drug.
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: teo
Chick: …so she was sleeping with the animals.
Guy: She was sleeping with the animals?
Chick: ’cause she wasn’t really part of the circus.
–Washington Square SW
Lanky guy: I really don’t like these new jeans you got me. They’re way too tight in the waist and legs, but baggy in the butt, and at least two inches too short. Plus they’re boot cut, and I don’t wear any boots!
Girl: Those are my jeans.
Lanky guy: Oh. Well, that would explain the lack of room in the crotch, then.
–64th & Lexington
Overheard by: Adria
Man: Could you tell me where the self-help section is?
–Barnes and Noble, Union Square
Guy #1: We were talking about philosophy, and his ideas are just crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah, philosophy is not a good idea.
–Haru Sushi, Park Avenue
Overheard by: FunnyGirl
