Queer on cell: Michael Alig…yeah, I don’t remember those years so well.
–1st & A
Hood on cell: Yo man, that bitch stole two ounces of coke from my house!…She’s your friend, you go get it back!
–outside The Martini Red Lounge, Staten Island
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Guy on pay phone: …and Santa’s reindeer won’t be coming home!
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Traczie Bellinger
Guy #1: See ya, Scotty!
Guy #2: Wasn’t Scott supposed to be dying or something?
Guy #1: Well he still is, just a little slower now than before. He’s the only guy I know who can get a bacterial infection at the dentist.
–Madison Square Park
Before a movie, a man gets up and jumps off a balcony. His friend remains seated.
Fellow movie patron: Did he just die?
Friend: Nah, nah it’s cool. He’s a French wall-jumper.
–Union Square Regal Cinemas
Preacher: What does God think of your sex life? Are you a winner or are you a chicken dinner?
–42nd Street station
Overheard by: Brian Lang
Teen boy: I must be the Antichrist! Every time I pass by a church it blows up. It’s happened twice already!
–30th & 7th
Guy: Why? Because I’m lazy, and I’m Jewish!
–MacDougal Street
Guy #1: I wonder how much it would cost to get married in Vegas and then get an annulment the next day.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: I dunno. I’ve been thinking of doing that, just for fun.
Guy #3: What would be the point?
Guy #1: …what do you mean, “what would be the point”?
–NYU dining hall
British parks guy: Yeh, fishin’ shit outta pools like this is me specialty.
Dude: Yeah, that’s great, but our frisbee is stuck in a tree.
British parks guy: Throwin’ yer frisbee at the birds, eh? You better make sure they don’t come after ye in yer dreams and peck yer fuckin’ eyes out.
–Central Park
Overheard by: NG
Girl: Where are you taking me?
Guy: Home.
Girl: No, seriously?
Guy: Home, you think I’m kidding?
Girl: …seriously?
Guy: We’re going to my place, yeah. Why?
Girl: I just met you.
They both got out of the subway together.
–2 train
Overheard by: charlie moreno
Guy: My roommate is such a pain in the ass. It’s always something with her. She never stops complaining about something.
Girl: I know, same thing at my house.
Guy: She gets me so fed up it’s like all i hear now is, “Wah wah, my pussy hurts.”
–Penn Plaza office
Overheard by: Ocera
Guy #1: The next Pope might be black.
Guy #2: That guy’s not black. He’s African.
–Staten Island ferry
Mouhbreather: Ralph, what time is 19?
Ralph: 7.
Mouthbreather: 7? Damn.
—-Quizno’s, King’s Highway & Coney Island Ave.
