Girl: And he’s like, “Are you pregnant?”
Guy: Is that how straight people ask if you got laid?
Girl: No, but I’m kinda worried.
Guy: Yeah. My friends from high school got pregnant like one after the other.
Girl: Ew.
Guy: It was like abort over here, abort over there.
Girl: I’m scared.
Guy: We was killing baby fetuses every week.
–Christopher & Gay
Guy #1: Yo, she want me to give her a kid, son. She only 28. I’m like, you don’t need no kid when you 28. Just start in your thirties and have ’em back to back to back.
Girl: You make it sound pretty easy to have kids back to back. That’s hard on a woman.
Guy #1: And she ain’t the only one. Lots of girls want me to give them kids.
Girl: Your sperm is in high demand.
Guy #2: What do you want, man? You’re a good-looking guy.
Guy #1: I know. I’m hot. But sometimes it feels like a curse to be this hot.
–4 train
Lady #1: Hey, do you remember how that conversation with Jim started today?
Lady #2: Um, honestly, no.
Lady #1: Well, fuck you then! Ginka balinka, Alzheimer’s bitch!
–Office, Greenwich & Beach
Guy: Dude, I think I just farted on a model.
–Broadway & Bleecker
Overheard by: Adam Tetzloff
Queer #1: So, what did you think of him?
Queer #2: I don’t see what he sees in him.
Queer #1: And he’s poor.
Queer #2: No! Why is he with someone that homely if he doesn’t have
money?
Queer #1: And did you see his teeth?
Queer #2: There isn’t enough money for me to stick my dick in that
mouth.
–81st & Amsterdam
Yuppie guy: I want to have three kids. First a boy, then two girls.
Girl: What if it doesn’t happen in that order?
Yuppie guy: There are ways to make it happen.
Girl: Oh, like, different positions?
–48th & 7th
Hobo: You remember me?
Bag lady: Yeah, I remember you; I still don’t like you.
Hobo: I still don’t like you either. You still gotta wash your ass. Stop smokin’ crack and wash your asshole!
–1 train
Overheard by: Nico Medina
Girl #1: When I got on the bus today, there was a needle on the seat next to me and I didn’t know what to do with it!
Girl #2: Yeah, there could have been syphilis on it or something…
Girl #1: Yeah, I was thinking more like AIDS, but sure.
–56th & 8th
Power walker guy: Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Power walker lady: Yeah, 27.
Power walker guy: How many?
Power walker lady: I am number 14 of 28 children.
–Central Park
Overheard by: jo mo packward
Queer: It’s happening again. My eye is totally twitching.
Guy: No, I don’t see anythinig. are you sure?
Queer: I’m sure. I can feel it. I can feel it but no one can see it. It’s twitching.
Guy: I don’t see it.
Queer: It’s not my eyeball, it’s here. This is so gross.
Guy: Yeah, i just don’t see it.
Queer: It is so disturbing. This happens to Sheila, too, and no one else can see. Only it’s half of her face.
–1 train
Overheard by: Cherie
