Blonde #1: Oh my god, how was your date last night?
Blonde #2: Like oh my god, we hooked up!
Blonde #1: Really?
Blonde #2: Like we totally hooked up…well, we didn't like hook up, hook up, but we definitely like hooked up!
Blonde #1 (in awe): Like oh my god, you're so lucky.
–Q17 Bus
Overheard by: My IQ lowered listening to this…
Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for “okay”?
–F Train
History genius: Was Bush president in 2002?
Friend: Yeah, he was elected in 2000.
History genius: Oh. (pause) So, if he gets elected again, he'll be president until 2016?
–V Train
Overheard by: Jordan
Stupid black guy: I think with Martin Luther King Day coming they should completely end slavery.
Smart black guy: Mmmm…there hasn't been slavery in the US since Lincoln.
Stupid black guy: Oh, there's still slavery.
Smart black guy: Whatever.
–Duane Reade
NYU guy: I was totally into Obama until we met Sarah Palin and now she has made me all Republican for her milfiness.
Friend: You know you don't get to fuck her just because you vote for her?
NYU guy: But I can only hope for my brothers in DC. You know like some Bill Clinton intern shit up in the White House, but this time with a hot mother instead of cigars and shit.
–L Train
Overheard by: Nikki
(a couple of guys want to get a picture of a taxi crashed into a lamppost)
Guy #1 (handing camera to passerby): Can you take our picture?
Guy #2: In front of the taxi. (pause) We're tourists.
New Yorker: Yeah, I know.
–Near Cake Shop
Overheard by: Shutterbug
Girl #1: Oh my god, I can't believe we saw him! And he just re-signed with the Yankees!
Girl #2: Oh my god, I love José Canseco!
Girl #1: You mean Jorge Posada, right?
Girl #2: Yeah, sure, whoever you said!
–50th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Jason
Girl, reading Hydrocortisone cream label: What is “sorey asses”?
Friend: It's “psoriasis,” asshole!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Sarah
Guy: I finally found someone who's as crazy about me as I am!
–1st Ave & 2nd St
Young guy to girlfriend: Sometimes I listen to myself and I think, "How do I know *so much* about marketing?"
–Downtown E Train
Guy to friend in movie theater, just before movie starts: Dude, my blog post today was *so* good.
–Loews Theater, 34th St
Girl: I'm attractive and I have a lot of friends!
–PATH Train
Overheard by: tb
Girl to friends: Hey guys… I'm really glad we're us. Or else I'd be really jealous of us.
–West Village
Overheard by: Max
Employee: I was eatin' with my fried Okra and I vomited all over your fetus…and that's why you're so ugly.
–The Strand Bookstore
Overheard by: Dazzle
Girl on cell: Oh, please! That bitch is ugly and her cooch probably smells too, he can have her! Because I don't need him or his greasy ass head or pencil dick. (pause) What? Oh, fuck you also! (hangs up and storms off)
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Rich
Serious gay black man on phone: Oh, please honey…there are just so many ugly white women in Europe…it's got to be something in the water!
–45th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Culturally Challenged
20-something guy on cell: She ain't the prettiest bitch, but she got these crazy little hands.
–Throop & Macon, Bedford-Stuyvesant
Overheard by: elephantgiraffe
Hipster girl: I have ugly friends. I just don't hang out with them on weekends.
–McCarren Park Pool
Overheard by: I don't hang out with ugly people
Attractive tween to friends: And then Lindsay's aunt came into the bathroom to comfort us and said, "pretty people always get blamed for things ugly people do."
–W 65th St. & Columbus Ave
