Guy: I was thinking of changing my screen name to “Breast Milk Flavored LSD.”
Girl: Why?
Guy: Because it’s funny.
Girl: Do you even know what LSD tastes like? I mean, it could already
taste like breast milk and then your whole screen name would be redundant.
–106th & Riverside
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Governor Pataki: Go out and study hard so you don’t get a bad exam on your grades.
–Cantor Film Center, East 8th Street
Overheard by: StyX
Man #1: The Tet Offensive was just confusing.
Man #2: Not really. I understood it completely.
Man #1: Well, let me use an analogy: it would be like if tomorrow, we went into Baghdad and removed all the troops. Is that how it was?
Man #2: Maybe; I don’t know what analogy means.
–Washington Place & 6th
Overheard by: Gradie Smith
Woman: I want a vanilla coffee creme.
Barista chick: I can get you a cup of plain coffee with vanilla
syrup, and you can put the milk in over there. Unless you want a
latte or something?
Woman: What’s a latte?
Barista chick: It’s espresso with milk.
Woman: Oh, espresso! I think that’s a little strong… What about a cappuccino? Do they have those here?
–Starbuck, West 4th Street & Washington Square East
Copygirl: UK?
Chick: The United Kingdom.
Copygirl: The United Kingdom? Where’s that? Hey, Joyce! Where’s the United Kingdom?
Chick: …England. In Europe.
Copygirl: But I don’t see it here. British Columbia, Quebec, British
Isles, but no United Kingdom.
–Kinko’s, Duane Street
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl #1: He said he’s 5’7″.
Girl #2: Ugh, that’s too short.
Girl #1: No it isn’t. I mean, if you think about it, 5’7″, that’s almost like 6′.
–N train
Overheard by: Amanda
Guy: These train drivers have to be suicidal. They spend all day underground in the dark.
Girl: Yeah, or they’re just vampires.
–N Train
Overheard by: Owen J
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound G train.
Girl #1: This train is going to Queens?
Girl #2: But we’re going to Greenpoint!
Woman: This goes to Greenpoint.
Girl #2: Greenpoint is in Queens?
Girl #3: I thought it was in Manhattan.
–G train
Overheard by: p
Tween girl: Are there two Union Squares?
–Union Square West
Overheard by: jessica castro
Woman: I love to cycle myself. You might not believe it, but I’m very good at it.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. I come from the West, where I used to ride really strenuous courses.
Guy: Really.
Woman: Yes. And you know, if they grew some mountains in New Jersey or something, I could do the same here.
–1 train
Tourist woman #1: I’d like to speak to a nun.
Receptionist lady: The nuns don’t talk to the public. You can meet with a priest. He’ll be available in an hour. Is anything wrong?
Tourist woman #1: We were going up for communion and the minister asked my friend if she was Catholic.
Receptionist lady: Is she Catholic?
Tourist woman #2: I’m Methodist. We take communion too.
— St. Patrick’s Cathedral Rectory
Overheard by: Traveler Bill
