Insults

High school girl #1: That Lady Macbeth is such a raving bitch!
High school girl #2: I know, and he's, like, totally whipped!

–Uptown 1 Train

Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”

–Grand Central Platform

Teen #1: I was just talking to a girl in the bathroom… She was wearing a horrible shirt.
Teen #2: What did you say to her?
Teen #1: I said her shirt was nice.

–W 32nd St

Overheard by: NG

Guido in car with Jersey plates: Don't touch my penis!
Gay man on the street: We don't want your penis, bitch!

–8th Ave & 22nd St

Overheard by: Adam and AnnMarie

Pretty teen girl #1: Did you know there's a guy in our school who looks exactly like Taylor Lautner?
Pretty teen girl #2: Seriously?
Pretty teen girl #1: Yeah. His name is Alison.
Pretty teen girl #2: Ew. That's such an ugly name!
Pretty teen girl #1: I know. He like, stares… If you turn around and look at him, he's looking at you. All the girls think he's staring at them. You know how all the girls in that group are pretty?
Pretty teen girl #2: I know! It's crazy!

–Starbucks, Chelsea

Overheard by: Katherine Wallace

Queen #1: What the fuck, girl, did you not look in the mirror before walkin' out da house? Those shoes do not match that shirt!
Queen #2, with sass: You obviously did look in the mirror, because that shirt (points at dark yellow shirt) matches your teeth perfectly.

–F Train

Woman to friend: You see how ugly she is?
Friend: Yes.
Woman: Ugly people are always nasty people!

–Grenwich & Morris

Overheard by: Gunther

Girl #1: Do I look too slutty?
Girl #2: You look slutty, but not in an attractive way.

–Columbia University

Male NYU student: Sound bites! I mean… Fucking sound bites! And that's all they have! These people don't actually know what they are talking about!
Female NYU student: (hesitant murmur of agreement)
Male NYU student, stopping to look at coffee table book: Oh man! Hunter S. Thompson! Have you read him? One of the great… beat poets.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Ben

Religious promoter: Jesus is the eternal savior! Only He can save you from the doom that you see in the movies that destroy New York!
Passerby: May I ask where you're from?
Religious promoter: Um… Union City.
Passerby: Go the fuck home!

–Times Square