Kindergarten girl #1: Wow! Look at all those big trophies!
Kindergarten girl #2: Those ain’t trophies. There’s dead people there. Yeah, you know — you go to church, you pray, and they put the dead person in the box, and they put the box in there. Don’t you go to church?
–On school bus passing a cemetery, Queens
Kid: Mommy, why are there so many pictures of naked people?
Mother: Because lots of people went naked in history.
–European art section, the Met
Overheard by: nixie
Yuppie mother: Now, what do you want for dinner? Do you want pizza and edamame?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Well, how about some baked tofu?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Or maybe some pesto pasta?
Kid: Hot dog!
–M14 bus
Overheard by: eye-rolling art student
Kid: I’ve never been to New York City before!
Mom: You live in New York City. This is Manhattan, but you live in New York City.
Kid: Well, I mean I’ve never been to New York City before.
–42nd & 8th Ave
Woman: See, now we’ve missed our train.
Little girl: Well it’s not my fault, it’s yours.
Woman: Of course, just like everything else.
Little girl: Especially global warming.
–ACE subway, W 4th
Mom: Stop scratching yourself down there. Don’t do that in public.
Toddler: I can’t help it if my labia itches!
–Uptown A train
Girl: Do you think I should have a party?
Mother: No, no one would come.
Girl: Why not?
Mother: Because you smell.
–Jamba Juice, Times Square
Kid, as blind woman passes by: You know why you should never jump a blind person?
Friend: Why?
Kid: One, they could fight back like Daredevil. Two, it’s just cruel. And three, you can’t hit ’em in the face ’cause they’re used to it. All fallin’ down the stairs all the time…
–6th Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: connor
Ghetto kid #1: Yo, Cam’ron be doin’ some gay shit!
Ghetto kid #2: Nah, but he always calls ‘no homo’ so it’s aight.
Ghetto kid #1: So if Cam’ron asked you to suck his dick ‘no homo,’ would you?
Ghetto kid #2: Well, if he called ‘no homo…’
–B9 bus, Ave M
Giggling little girl placing hand in butt-crack of a statue: Daddy, look!
Father: Spank it!
–Times Warner Building, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Adam Distler
