Mother: Clarence! Hey, Clarence, have you got my child support check?
Son: Ha, ha! That goat looks like my dad!
–Bronx Zoo
Mother: Clarence! Hey, Clarence, have you got my child support check?
Son: Ha, ha! That goat looks like my dad!
–Bronx Zoo
Kid: Do you know what I could really go for?
Mother: What’s that, Sugar?
Kid: Me — in bed!
–125th & Lex
Overheard by: LJers
Girl #1: You mean, your parents never kept you in a cage as a child?
Girl #2: Uh… no.
–110th & Broadway
Little girl: Mommy, where do people go when they’re bad?
Mother: Australia, sweetie, with all the snakes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Girl from Australia
Little boy: Look, Mommy, that man is dressed up as the UPS man for Halloween!
UPS man: No, this is my life.
–Rockefeller Center Concourse
Overheard by: Micaela
Seven-year-old boy is gently cooing to his three-month-old sister, then suddenly bursts into aggravated yell: You have no intellect!
–Uptown F train
Overheard by: Sam
Mom: What’s the candy situation?
Trick-or-treating child: More! More! More!
–69th & Columbus
Kindergarten girl #1: Wow! Look at all those big trophies!
Kindergarten girl #2: Those ain’t trophies. There’s dead people there. Yeah, you know — you go to church, you pray, and they put the dead person in the box, and they put the box in there. Don’t you go to church?
–On school bus passing a cemetery, Queens
Kid: Mommy, why are there so many pictures of naked people?
Mother: Because lots of people went naked in history.
–European art section, the Met
Overheard by: nixie
Yuppie mother: Now, what do you want for dinner? Do you want pizza and edamame?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Well, how about some baked tofu?
Kid: Hot dog!
Yuppie mother: Or maybe some pesto pasta?
Kid: Hot dog!
–M14 bus
Overheard by: eye-rolling art student
