Teen to hobo tossing empty bottle on the ground: Hey, don't leave that here! Kids play around here!
Hobo: I hate kids.
Random passerby: You can't beat that logic!
–Central Park
Teen to hobo tossing empty bottle on the ground: Hey, don't leave that here! Kids play around here!
Hobo: I hate kids.
Random passerby: You can't beat that logic!
–Central Park
Small, nervous boy: Mom, what’s necrophilia?
Harried mother: Jesus Christ! I told you not to hang around Uncle Gary unless there’s another adult with you!
Small, nervous boy: I didn’t! My daddy was there, too!
Harried mother: Oh my god. We’re moving back to the Island.
–12th St & Ave B
Little boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson still alive?
Father: Um…sort of.
–42nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sabs
Young child: Mommy, how do black people have sex?
Mom: Ask your father.
–9th & 8th, Park Slope
Guy: Then I looked down at her and said, ‘Your bleached teeth are burning my dick!’
–Caliente Cab Co., Waverly & Green
Suit to female companion: You’ll stick your tongue up my ass, but you won’t share my toothbrush because of germs?!
–Renaissance Hotel, Times Square
Overheard by: Big Larry
Girl on cell: … So then he asked me to leave my toothbrush at his place, and I said no. And then he never called me again! I’m glad I didn’t leave my toothbush there.
–1 train
Overheard by: joe d.
Guy on cell: … So I lost my job, and he brushed my teeth for six months.
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Young girl to mother pushing stroller: Oh, right, like I’ve never brushed her hair. Like I’ve never fed her or brushed her teeth. What the hell have you done for her?
–63rd & Lex
Overheard by: Jillian
Little girl, pointing at a bathtub full of candy balls: What are those, daddy?
Dad: Those balls are dirty.
–Candy Shop, 63rd St & 3rd Ave
A mother and daughter catching snowflakes on their tongues.
Mother: I caught one, did you catch one?
Daughter: Yes!
Mother: Mine was too small, it tasted tiny.
Daughter: I got one!
Mother: What does it taste like?
Daughter: Power!
–2nd Avenue & 9th Street
Overheard by: Alexander Romanovich
Five-year-old kid: What's that?
Mom: That's baseball. Like on a Wii but in real life.
–Central Park & E 96th St
Little kid, holding out french fry: Patata!
Hick woman: Patoota? What's that?
Hick man: Little kids' word.
–Belgian Beer Bar, 75th & 2nd
Overheard by: Even my Spanish isn't that bad
NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Maeve
Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.
–Duane Reade
10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.
–Christopher St & Waverly Place
Overheard by: sharknife
Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.
–NYU
Overheard by: ninja z
Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.
–Conde Nast Building
Overheard by: jackattack
Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alis
