Kids

20-something college student: I saw the movie Australia the other day, and I couldn't understand anything because they all had English accents.

–2 Train

Indian woman with accent, recalling story to husband: So I called up customer service, and right away the woman said "Oh, priti, you must be Indian". I said "No, I am not." I was like "What? Are you kidding me? I call customer service and they put me through to India? Then she said "Have you ever been to India?", I was like "No, I have not, is it nice?"

–Jackson Heights

Overheard by: Marie Z.

10-year-old girl, emoting mockingly for her minder: And I can see *Russia* from my *house*!

–74th & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane

Woman on cell: It's okay, I've got a plan. We'll move to Mexico, buy a lemonade stand by buying parts from a guy called Javier, earn some money, then smuggle ourselves and our belongings over the border to America, where no one will know what happened.

–5th Ave

30-something to friend: Apparently all of England's problems can't be solved by strangling an old guy!

–Roosevelt Island

Little girl: Do you like girls?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like boys?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like me?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like cats?
Little boy: No.
Little girl: Do you like girls?

–Wilson & Troutman, Bushwick

Little boy: I loved Philadelphia! Mommy, why don’t we move there? I wish we lived there!
Yuppie mom: No you don’t, sweetie. Philadelphia is kind of the ghetto.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: daile

Little boy: …and sometimes, my penis, gets stuck on my shirt!
Mom: It does, huh?
Little boy: Yeah, but I just pull it back off!

–Barnes & Noble ladies’ room, Union Square

Overheard by: Kate Elizabeth Queram

Dad: Where did Daddy sleep when he was home?
Kids: On the bed.
Dad: No. I slept on the couch, and it was not comfortable.

–Pizzeria, 43rd & 10th

Little girl, sadly: But she got the new Barbie…
Mom: Yeah, but hers is super janky… Yours is the good one, it was all customized for you. You don't want hers.
Little girl: Oh.

–N Train

Overheard by: Brittany M

Six-year-old boy: Mom, did you know that Elvis Presley died of a drug overdose?
Mom: Well, that won't ever happen to you.
Six-year-old boy, angrily: How do you know?

–Atlantic Ave Station

Overheard by: Jon Good

Mom to daughter, taking out ripped jeans: Rosemary, the people in Ireland will be thinking, “what is she doing wearing ripped jeans?”
Daughter: Mom, I'm sure that people in Ireland wear ripped jeans.
Mom: Yeah, poor people.

–Laundry Room, W 116th St

Little girl: Mommy! I want to open a cat park!
Mother: You mean a dog park?
Little girl: Mooooommmmmmmmm! No! A cat park!

–Ave A & St. Mark's Place

Boy, reading a pamphlet: Umm… Penny-less… Pen-iss.
Girl: It says penis.
Boy: Well, whatever.
Girl: How are you not going to be able to spell something that you have?
Boy: Well, it’s gay to know how to spell penis.

–Marble Hill, the Bronx

Overheard by: Angelica Cayne