Little girl: Daddy, let’s go in here!
Dad: No, that stuff’s not for you.
Little girl: But mommy went in there!
Dad: It’s a store for grown-ups.
Little girl: No it isn’t! They have baby bottles!
–Outside Fetish Shop, W. 4th & Cornelia
Little girl: Daddy, let’s go in here!
Dad: No, that stuff’s not for you.
Little girl: But mommy went in there!
Dad: It’s a store for grown-ups.
Little girl: No it isn’t! They have baby bottles!
–Outside Fetish Shop, W. 4th & Cornelia
Creepster harassing waitress: Are you, like, a biker chick? Is that why you’re wearing leather? Is there a whip that goes with it? I’ll tip extra if there is. [To buddies, minutes later] Yeah, so, I’m going to get nude pictures taken of myself.
–230 5th Ave
Barber #1: Yo, last night I had a steak.
Barber #2: Don’t tell me you had steak last night. Tell me you fucked some bitches last night. Tell me you got your ass licked last night. Tell me you farted in a chick’s mouth and her cheeks blew up last night.
–Barbershop, Queens
Overheard by: Nathaniel
Blonde: Don’t you think getting fucked by Harry Potter’s wand would be hot, because it’s like an extension of himself?
Butch girl: Oh my god, I’ve been thinking about wand-fucking for like six months!
–Bethune & Greenwich
Overheard by: Never Forever
Idiot #1: … And that’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski, because he bit her on the ass.
Idiot #2: Really?
Idiot #1: Yeah, they got the dental records and everything. He totally bit her on the ass, and there were bite marks. That’s why they call him Ted Kaczynski.
–61st & 10th
Guy: I said, “I hate to break it to you, but I’m straight.” And she said, “If you like girls, don’t introduce yourself as Jeremy. It’s a nice name.” And I said, “I’m not interested in girls like that. I like the superfreaks.”
–Belly, LES
Young Woman #1: I have to go to this “dungeon” for my Sexual Psychology class. Do you want to come?
Young Woman #2 in her mid-twenties: Is it like an S&M thing?
Young Woman #1: I don’t know. It’s like they act out different sexual
fantasies with whips and stuff.
Young Woman #2: OK, that sounds cool.
— Upper East Side
Gay teen: I told her that while she’s over there she has to find me a German boyfriend.
Girl: Why?
Gay teen: So he can dress up like a Nazi and we can play concentration camp fetish games.
Girl: Oh, right.
–Odessa, Ave. A
Club boy #1: So you must tell me: how was posh last night?
Club boy #2: Oh, I don't know. I'm not really sure what happened, but at some point someone, um, bit my nipple and ever since, it just, um, hasn't been the same.
–53rd & 9th
Overheard by: Andrew L
20-something gorgeous gay man wearing tiara: He wouldn't tell me where he was, so then I said “let me smell ya dick!”
20-something drop-dead hot girl: Something's rotten in Denmark.
–Bleecker & W 4th
