Obnoxious woman: Excuse me, excuse me! Do you know where Park Place is?
Jaded youth: Next to Boardwalk.
Obnoxious woman: Where is that?
–E Broadway
Overheard by: Mr. Money Bags
Obnoxious woman: Excuse me, excuse me! Do you know where Park Place is?
Jaded youth: Next to Boardwalk.
Obnoxious woman: Where is that?
–E Broadway
Overheard by: Mr. Money Bags
Mother: And how do you stop the smoke from going through the crack under the door? Put… a… wet…
Toddler girl: Firefighter?
–77th & 1st
Woman: He’s very successful. I’m sure he’s a millionaire by now, and he’s only 26. He never even graduated from college.
Queer: I’m soooooo jealous. I wish I didn’t have an education.
–Mott & Houston
NYU girl: I’m so stressed out.
NYU boy: You’re stressed out? I’m rushing for a fraternity. I’m stressed out.
NYU girl: What do you have to do?
NYU boy: Can’t say. It’s top secret.
NYU girl: Oh my gawd, tell me!
NYU boy, jokingly: I get hazed.
NYU girl: What’s hazed?
NYU boy: Oh my god. Wikipedia it.
NYU girl: What’s Wikipedia? Well, whatever. I want to rush for a fraternity.
NYU boy: You can’t. A fraternity is only for boys.
NYU girl: Ugh, fine! Then I’ll rush for a maternity and I’ll be cooler than you and your top secret fraternity.
NYU boy: Okay, we’re not friends for ten minutes.
–Starbucks, W 4th
Tourist dad: Kids, you have pay attention when we’re in the big city, ’cause…
Daughter: ‘Cause if you don’t you die?
Dad: No, you could get lost and then you’ll become a street person.
–Central Park South
Smug fashionista: My god, that’s a fashion faux pas if I ever saw one.
Confused companion: Oh, did she kill fashion again?
Smug fashionista: Not only did she kill fashion again, but she raped it after killing it! She’s like… like… the necrophiliac of haute couture or something…. Wait. What the fuck am I talking about?!
–Madison Ave
Overheard by: Minnie Sukthankar-Romanovich
Tourist: What kind of berry is a triberry?
Barista: What?
Tourist: You’re selling a triberry muffin. Well, what’s a triberry? I’ve never heard of that before.
Barista: It has blueberry, strawberry, and raspberry in it. They call it triberry because it has three kinds of berries in it.
Tourist: So there aren’t any triberries in it?
Barista: No.
Tourist: Then why do you call it a triberry muffin? That’s false advertising.
Barista: As I explained, it’s called that because it has three berries in it.
Tourist: But none of those berries are triberries?
Barista: No. There is no such thing as a triberry.
Tourist: I don’t understand.
Barista: Look, do you want the muffin or not?
Tourist: I don’t think so. I don’t want to eat anything unless I know what it is first.
Barista: So what can I get you?
Tourist: Do you have a donut?
Barista: No.
Tourist: Never mind. [leaves]Barista: Dumbass.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Waplow
Woman #1: He slept with Mary?
Woman #2: And to think that I was this close to falling in love with him.
–Starbucks, Times Square
Old queen #1: I always thought that Dick Cavett was such a little asshole.
Old queen #2: I always found him to be downright delightful!
–Edison Diner, 47th St
Overheard by: I like Dick
Trader #1: Is she ok with that price?
Trader #2: Yeah, we have a great relationship. She’ll take it in the end.
–777 3rd Ave
