Moms

Hipster chick: … And then the cops came in and busted him for cocaine possession.
Old mom: Oh, goodness.
Hipster chick: Yeah, he totally didn’t have that much.
Old mom: Did he have an eight-ball?

–66th & Park

Overheard by: ashley

Child: Mom, what are those piles of boxes in that parking lot for? Is that where they keep the garbage?
Mother: No, that’s where the bums live! There is a bum community in there! And they all have no teeth!

–Metro North train

Mother: Thas what you gotta watch out for: those assholes.
3-year-old daughter: Okay, Mommy.

–14th & 3rd

Overheard by: Sanandara Bong

Mom: Oh my god! Why are these things so expensive?
Lil’ boy holding fake jewelry: Hey mommy! You know what I want to be? I want to be a girl.
Mom laughing nervously: Can you believe some of the things these kids say?

–Virgin Beauty Supply

Overheard by: Crystal

Mom: You’re just making me frustrated right now.
Whining toddler: And you’re making me stupid!

–16th St, between 6th & 7th Ave

Girl running from her mother: You can’t catch me!
Mom running after her: Aw helllllll no! You keep runnin’ and I’m gonna cut your hair off when we get home!

–Halsey and Wycoff, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Mary Beth

20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do.

— Pizzeria, Boerum Hill

Mom: I thought you liked hate crimes.
20-something daughter: I do, but not against Latinos!

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Nervous Asian Girl

Upper-West-Side mom: So, what did you think of fairytale princess camp?

–Great Lawn, Central Park

Overheard by: dee

Tourist mom: The last thing I wanted was to be drunk in front of my children.
Son: Too late.

–Embassy Suites, near WTC

Overheard by: Shanaca