Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don’t nobody look at each other on the train?
Mother: ‘Cause they ugly.
–G train
Four-year-old boy: Mommy, why don’t nobody look at each other on the train?
Mother: ‘Cause they ugly.
–G train
Automated voice on PA: Register Nine.
Toddler: Whoa! What was that?
Mom: That’s the voice of God telling you what to do.
Automated voice: Register Four.
Mom: See, there it is again. You better listen.
–Whole Foods, Houston
Overheard by: Alienswede
Little boy in stroller: What’s a marathon?
Mom: It’s like one show after another.
–W 4th & Sullivan
Overheard by: Leslie G.
(waiting in line at the DMV)
Black supervisor with thick Jamaican accent to preppy white mom accompanying her daughter: You sit down. (mumbles something else)
White mom: Did he say “only Africans wait in line”?
White daughter: No, mom, “only *applicants* wait in line.”
–Harlem DMV
Precocious little girl: Mom, that lady is grooming the dog groomer!
Pretentious mom: That makes sense. Do you see how some of the dog show women dress themselves? Would you want to be caught dead in some of their clothes and makeup?
Precocious little girl: No.
–Westminster Dog Show Grooming Area
Overheard by: Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Either
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
Husband: What’s that white stuff on your pants?
Wife, with three-year-old kid: It’s cum.
Husband: What’s your fucking problem?
–10th & 5th
Overheard by: NYU Student
Little girl: Mommy, that guy has a puppy in his car!
Mommy: How many times do I have to tell you that is the first temptation to kidnap you, stupid!
–Astoria
Overheard by: GeeGoo
Daughter: Mommy, I think I can spell “funky.” F-u-c-k-y.
Dad: No, that's… that's a bad word.
Mom: No, honey, funky is spelled f-u-n-c-k-y.
–7 Train
Daughter tourist: Wow! Look at him.
Mother tourist: Yeah, who knew there were so many Amish in New York?
–Bowling Green Park
Overheard by: Lauhginallthe way
