Precocious little girl: Mom, that lady is grooming the dog groomer!
Pretentious mom: That makes sense. Do you see how some of the dog show women dress themselves? Would you want to be caught dead in some of their clothes and makeup?
Precocious little girl: No.
–Westminster Dog Show Grooming Area
Overheard by: Wouldn't Be Caught Dead Either
Mother to eight-year-old daughter, gesturing to hipsters: You know why they wear those tight pants?
Eight-year-old daughter : No, why?
Mother: They got no dick. No boner in those pants.
–Lorimer & Metropolitan, Williamsburg
Husband: What’s that white stuff on your pants?
Wife, with three-year-old kid: It’s cum.
Husband: What’s your fucking problem?
–10th & 5th
Overheard by: NYU Student
Little girl: Mommy, that guy has a puppy in his car!
Mommy: How many times do I have to tell you that is the first temptation to kidnap you, stupid!
–Astoria
Overheard by: GeeGoo
Daughter: Mommy, I think I can spell “funky.” F-u-c-k-y.
Dad: No, that's… that's a bad word.
Mom: No, honey, funky is spelled f-u-n-c-k-y.
–7 Train
Daughter tourist: Wow! Look at him.
Mother tourist: Yeah, who knew there were so many Amish in New York?
–Bowling Green Park
Overheard by: Lauhginallthe way
Teen girl, observing scantily clothed Inca healer: Gosh, Mom, didn’t they have any decency?
Mom: Well, all this was before Adam and Eve.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: not a history major
Little Asian boy: Mommy, is it true that the world is run by giants who plug it in and make it spin?
Mom: Where did you hear that?
Little Asian boy: I made it up.
–N train
Overheard by: Harmony
20-something chick #1: … So was she, like, dating that married guy?
20-something chick #2: No! Man, you can’t date a married guy, he’s married! You can only fuck a married guy.
Lady with kids: Do you mind?!
20-something chick #2: If you don’t want your kids to hear about fucking married men, then don’t raise them in New York!
–34th & Madison
Overheard by: I hate kids too…
Boy, holding fistful of brown substance to mom's face: Smell it!
Mom: No.
Boy: Smell it!
Mom: No.
Boy: Smell it!
Mom: No.
–W 12th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: NYC Maven
