Crazy lady: Where would we be without Mexicans? You are a very hard-working people.
Mexican, working the register, nods.
Crazy lady: All the time I see your people working.
Mexican nods.
Crazy lady: Like no other.
Mexican nods.
Crazy lady leaves.
Mexican, to no one in particular: Soy de El Salvador.
–Strokos Pizza
Overheard by: Injured List
20-something Chinese guy: You know what? Chinese people discovered America.
20-something Black guy: Bullshit.
20-something Chinese guy: It’s true! There’s an article on CNN showing we discovered America, there are maps. Chinese were here first before everyone else. Chinese people did everything before everyone else. White people take credit for everything, but now it’s coming out that Chinese made all of these discoveries first. Don’t you see a pattern? We’re the shit.
20-something Black guy: The only pattern I see is that you motherfuckers pirate and resell every DVD, and now you’re trying to bootleg history.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Ricky
Black drunk hobo: Girl, lemme tell you something. I'm a Sagittarius and we funny as shit once we're sober. Can I ask you something? Are you Russian?
Woman on subway: No.
Black drunk hobo: You look Russian. I know all about them Russians. Matter of fact, I have a book coming out later this year. It's called I Know Shit.
–1 Train
Overheard by: TVontheFritz
Two Chinese men sit down on the bench next to a sleeping homeless man trying to sleep.
Hobo: Ah, hell no! You’re not going to start having a conversation like that at 3 in the fuckin’ morning…I ain’t got no motherfucking subtitle button on me!
–49th Street station
Overheard by: Schweiz
Son: Mom, can I go and see Santa?
Mom: You ain’t sittin’ your big black ass on some white Santa!
–Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: Confused white person
Creepy white teacher: And so the black people started to spread from Harlem. And now there are black people in all five boroughs.
–205 & Reservoir, the Bronx
Hobo to parked white-on-white Mini Cooper: Hate car! Racist car! Bigot car!
–4th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: benjamen walker
Girl on cell: I don’t care if I am as white as a bar of soap, I can say bangin’ all I want.
–35th St & 23rd Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Rick Adams
Chick #1: We can watch Lackawanna Blues tonight.
Chick #2: I can’t watch another black movie. I watched one last night.
Chick #1: What’d you watch last night?
Chick #2: Hitch.
–Office, Wall & William
Long Island woman #1: What is this?
Long Island woman #2: Trust me; it’s good for you. I mean, look at these people…Have you ever seen them fat?!
–Korean grocery, 72nd & Broadway, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: DJ Lee, one of ‘these’ people
White guy #1 So what did we come here to get?
White guy #2: I don’t know. I hate buying video games. It makes me feel Asian.
–Gamestop
Overheard by: gamegirl
Guy: She did this album made up entirely of processed sex noises. It’s her and her boyfriend having sex in various sundry ways. She got mentioned in a British newspaper and then the Daily News picked it up. And now it looks like she’s going to have a record deal. Most of it is…it’s kind of German, you know?
–27th Street office
