European guy: I just saw Sven, that weird Swedish guy, an hour ago. Thought he already left?
American guy: I've come to the conclusion that maybe Scandinavians aren't human after all –just robots from the future.
–N Train
European guy: I just saw Sven, that weird Swedish guy, an hour ago. Thought he already left?
American guy: I've come to the conclusion that maybe Scandinavians aren't human after all –just robots from the future.
–N Train
Teen #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Teen #2: Looking.
Teen #3: Yo, man, you always looking for something.
Teen #2: We African, man! We needs to hunt!
–Bleecker & Mercer
Overheard by: Michele
Girl #1: Okay, what should I get? The Gombee burger sounds good. Hey, that kinda sounds like Gandhi…except he probably wouldn’t want to eat the burger. Remember that time he was on that hunger strike?
Girl #2: Aren’t cows like, sacred to Hindus or something?
Girl #1: Oh! That’s probably why he wouldn’t have wanted to eat it.
–Columbia University
Chick #1: The East Village is so gentrified.
Chick #2: Yeah. Brooklyn is really gentrified. It didn’t used to be like that.
Chick #1: America… is pretty gentrified.
Chick #2: Yeah.
–St. Marks & A
Overheard by: Dav Ellman
Man #1: She fucks like a Puerto Rican
Man #2: Have you ever fucked a Puerto Rican?
Man #1: No. But I’ve imagined it.
–Fort Greene
Old lady: You know, I never liked the word ‘black.’ I much preferred ‘colored’ — it makes more sense. See, you’re not black, you’re brown like the color of toast.
Nurse: Ah, um, I’m just here to give you your meds.
–Albert Einstein Hospital
Black lady #1: I’m still waiting for that African guy to get back.
Black lady #2: You mean the guy with the crazy kids running all around? Those kids were wild.
Black lady #1: Well you know those people, they aren’t used to being indoors.
Black lady #2: Yeah they used to running all around in the jungle.
–Central Post Office, 8th Avenue
Overheard by: Baby Bee
Hobo: Hey buddy, can you spare a nickel?
Cabbie: Yeah, do you accept credit cards?
Hobo: Fuck you! I am here trying to live on the streets. Just take your customer wherever she’s going…Don’t you tip his sorry ass. He’s a racist Iraqian.
–23rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Cat
Chinese doctor: Where you from?
Nurse: Poland.
Chinese doctor: Good, you speak Czechlosvakian. I need to translate, this man is from Beirut.
–Elmhurst Hospital, Queens
Chick on cell: Why did you tell dad about that?…Well, he was going to find out sooner or later when he saw me on the website.
–Union Square
Female midget: Yeah, they’re installing the internet in my new apartment and apparently they need a computer.
–Elevator, ABC building, 66th St
Overheard by: Mojosaves
World traveler: Really, you can get anything on the streets of Bangkok. Thai prostitutes, smoothies, passport pictures…It’s like Craigslist.
–20th & 8th
Overheard by: laughing out loud
Catholic school girl on cell: Danny, it’s me. I have some bad news. We’re on a break. Call me back when you get this message….[Hangs up and redials] Maria! What am I going to do about my MySpace?!
–4th Ave
Overheard by: Joe
Blonde on cell: Seriously, I love you, but…Seriously…Seriously, you’re an asshole. You’re a dick! Why didn’t you just tell me the fucking truth!…Well, I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I posted those pictures on MySpace, but…Well, be a fucking man about it and tell me the fucking truth then!…Seriously, I love you.
–23rd & 8th
Overheard by: wild dog boy
Loud guy on cell: So how do I get this done? Do I go on the internet or something?… I want to be able to print my own bounty hunter license immediately.
–11th & 6th
Suit: When I was working for my old company, all we would do is download porn.
–Grand & Varick
