White tween: Everyone has a MySpace.
Asian tween: I don’t have a MySpace.
White tween: You don’t got a MySpace? Why not?
Asian tween: ‘Cause it’s the easiest way to meet sexual predators.
White tween, laughing: Nah, don’t worry. You ain’t ever gonna meet any sexual predators — you’re ugly.
–PS 173 playground, Fresh Meadows
Thug #1: We don’t even go to the movies or nothin’. She just comes over to smash it and then she leaves. She knows, too. She just comes over for some pipin’.
Thug #2: That’s where it’s at.
Thug #1: She got a 10-year-old li’l nigga, too. She knows not to ask for somethin’ serious. That li’l nigga in fifth grade! That nigga on MySpace!
–Houston & Suffolk
Overheard by: Rhymes With Lasagna
Headline by: ja
Runners-Up:
· “…And “To Catch A Predator”” – Stuck in the MidWest
· “He Comes Over for Some Pipin’ Too.” – Courtney
· “I Just Have to Wait for Her to Be in Eigth.” – Snark Sloper
· “That Li’l Nigga Gots Roast Beef and This Li’l Nigga Gots None.” – johnnyb
· “The Nucular Family” – Bill
· “The Waltons, 2007” – G’night, John Boy
Student: If child predators really wanted to find information about a kid, they don’t even need to use MySpace. All they’d have to do is go to the local public library and open last year’s elementary school year book…
Professor: Or they could just drive by a school and pick some kid up. You know, the old fashioned way.
–Columbia University
Thug to tourist taking picture: Yeah, bitch, I’m in your picture! I’m in your picture! Put it on MySpace, bitch!
–W 34th & 7th
Overheard by: nisey79
Thug to friend: Nigga, it’s hard to explain… It looked… like a decorated cosine curve!
–110th & Lenox
Overheard by: Curly Ku
Thugette to thug boyfriend: This ain’t Valentine’s Day. You slap me I’ll slap you back!
–Bronx-bound D train
Overheard by: Krissss
Thug to his baby, after carrying her stroller down the subway steps: Woo-hah, I got you all in check.
–6 train station, 59th St
Overheard by: Jackie
Thug: Shit. Jimmy Hoffa’s lucky he don’t gotta pay taxes.
–Brooklyn-bound F train
Overheard by: In debt on the F train
Thug: That thang was so big you could put a whole paragraph on it!
–6 train
Teen #1: It’s one word!
Teen #2: No it ain’t, it’s two!
Teen #1: No, it’s one word!
Teen #2: Two!
Teen #1: One!
Teen #2: ‘MySpace’ is two words!
Teen #1: No it ain’t — it’s ‘MySpace’ — it’s a compount word. They made it up!
–Jamaica-bound E train
Overheard by: JHA
Teen girl #1: I think Jack’s about to break up with me again…
Teen girl #2: What? Why?
Teen girl #1: Yesterday I went to his MySpace, and he moved me to the bottom of his Top Eight!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: wallsears
Aspiring hipster: All I need now is a tattoo and a MySpace and I’ll be set!
–Oustide Around the Clock, 9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Molly
Blonde girl: Does anyone know if the subway has wireless connection?
–1 train
Girl on cell: Well, would you fix my computer for free? … What is it with guys who fix my computer wanting to be paid in sexual favors? You’re like the fourth guy to say that to me this year.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Lady on cell: Well, have you asked him to close his MySpace account? Well, if he really loved you, he would close it!
–28th St, between Madison & Park
Overheard by: mommamoose
Teen chick on cell: Yeah, it’s funny… Google it. Wait, do you guys even have Google in Florida?
–54th & Park
Overheard by: floridian passerby
Teen chick: Oh my god! I am so putting that on the internet!
–Times Square
Optometrist #1: So, I went to his myspace to find out who his babymomma was, right? And then he calls me and says I have AIDS.
Optometrist #2: Wait? AIDS? You mean HIV, right?
Optometrist #1: No, AIDS.
Optometrist #2: Well, then I get HIV. You can get AIDS, but I want HIV.
–Roosevelt Optometrists
8-year-old-kid #1: Hey, do you guys have a page on MySpace?
8-year-old-kid #2: Naw, I’ve never been to MySpace.
8-year-old-kid #3: Yeah, that’s how kids die! They go to MySpace and they die!
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Emily Jean
Ghetto girl #1: Yo, he better treat me better than that. I’m talking roses, bling, Red Lobster…
Ghetto girl #2: Girl that’s so true, I’m puttin’ that on my Myspace.
–Union Square
Overheard by: D. P.S.
