Waitress: Would you like soup or salad with that?
Loud queer: I’ll have the salad, if it’s clean.
Waitress: [Silence.]Loud queer: Who’s making the salad?
Waitress: Jonathan.
Loud queer: Oh, if Jonathan’s making it, then it’s clean. I’ll have the salad.
–Mudd, 9th Ave, between 1st & 2nd St
New York girl: So that's our neighborhood Babies “R” Us.
Out-of-town girl: Mmm. Sounds delicious.
–Union Square East
Overheard by: I wonder what sauce she uses…
Guy #1: Oh man, Alexa is so hot. Sucks that she has a boyfriend.
Guy #2: Dude, how many times do I have to tell you? Just because there is a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score.
–42nd & 8th
HS Kid: One of my best friends is named Caesar actually…ha ha, actually he hates salad.
–L Train
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy: I said, “I hate to break it to you, but I’m straight.” And she said, “If you like girls, don’t introduce yourself as Jeremy. It’s a nice name.” And I said, “I’m not interested in girls like that. I like the superfreaks.”
–Belly, LES
Older woman: It seems like you’re really happy!
Younger man: Yes, I am. And it seems like Jonah is really happy, too.
Older woman: We think that happiness is over-rated. We are not happy. We are possessed.
— Gallery opening on Rivington St.
Twit: What’s that song Richard Marx sang?
Chick: Right Here Waiting.
Twit: There’s another one.
Chick: I don’t know.
Twit: It’s going to drive me crazy until I remember. Oh wait! I know! Right Here Waiting for You!
Chick: That’s the same song.
–Winnie’s, Chinatown
Strand Girl: Hey, Beth!
Beth: Yeah?
Strand Girl: Phone call.
Beth: Who is it?
Strand Girl: It’s Christopher, posing as an English person.
–The Strand basement, Broadway & 12th St.
Man #1: Are you calling me fat?
Man #2: No.
Man #1: Yo, Joseph. I want a chicken pot pie, too.
–KFC, Delancey St.
Queer #1: So what’s your name?
Queer #2: Yanni.
Queer #1: No fucking way! That’s my name!
–Rawhide, Chelsea
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
