Dude: We have called you The Breast Fondler for like two years and she wouldn’t even let you fondle her breasts? Doesn’t she know your nickname?
–6 train
Overheard by: Matt Stoudt
Dude: We have called you The Breast Fondler for like two years and she wouldn’t even let you fondle her breasts? Doesn’t she know your nickname?
–6 train
Overheard by: Matt Stoudt
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone:
“I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Girl with headphones: Olivia? She’s a whore!…and she’s the most important person at school.
–Grand St. & West Broadway
Overheard by: John Kuramoto
Russian girl #1: Stop calling me that!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong?
Russian girl #1: She keeps on calling me Natasha!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong with that?
Russian girl #1: Because that’s not my name!
–B82 Bus
Girl #1: Who’s Rob?
Girl #2: The one with the girlfriend…You know! The one who was right front and center when my pants caught on fire.
–Elevator, 50th & Broadway
Teenager #1: Aw, that guy was so cute! He'd better be there when I go return my skates.
Teenager #2: You should find out his number or something.
Teenager #1: Nah, that's too awkward.
Teenager #2: Just ask his name from one of the other workers, and say you wanna report him to the manager… But then really just stalk him on Facebook!
–Ice Skating Rink, Bryant Park
Overheard by: lol
Female lawyer #1: So we stopped and ate at Cracker Barrel.
Female lawyer #2: Oh, my husband loves Cracker Barrel!
Male lawyer #1: How come it's okay to have a restaurant named Cracker Barrel, but when there was a restaurant chain called Sambo's, they were forced to change their name?
Male lawyer #2: And what about the Washington Redskins?
Male lawyer #1: Yeah, imagine if they had a team named The Darkies?
Male lawyer #2: So how come nobody forces the Redskins to change their name?
Male lawyer #1: Cause, when's the last time you saw a mob of Indians kick someone's ass?
Male lawyer #2: Custer?
Male lawyer #1: I rest my case.
Female lawyer #2: And just what does any of this have to do with Cracker Barrel?
Male lawyer #1: You ever take a look at who eats there?
–Civil Court, Sutphin Boulevard, Jamaica
Overheard by: Big Larry
Teenage thug #1, to friends: Yo, you know who Dumbledore is?
Teenage thug #2: Ummm, yes!
Teenage thug #1: So what's his full name?
Teenage thug #3: Okay! Here it comes!
Teenage thug #4: Yeah, this is the shit right here!
All thugs, in unison: Albus… Percival… Wulfric… Brian… Dumbledore!
Teenage thug #1: That's what I'm talking about! Yeah!
–Sunset Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: even i didn't remember
Bartender to 20-something man: What's your name? I'll start a tab.
20-something man: Oliver.
Old man at bar: Oliver Twist… People ever call you Oliver Twist? (laughs)
20-something man: Old people always do. Newer people don't.
–Pizzaria, 86th & 3rd
Overheard by: kat
Girl to guy with “free hugs” sign: Do you know Mary Jane?
“Free hugs” guy: Girl, you have come to the right delicious man!
–Union Square
Overheard by: ashevillian
