Little girl #1: He took out everything after we bought the house. The refrigerator, the stove, the toilet…
Little girl #2: Was he Korean? I mean, I’m Korean but that sounds so Korean.
Little girl #1: Nah, he was Italian.
Little girl #2: Koreans, Italians, French…no difference.
–Flushing
White guy: Dude, I’m going to be the only non-Asian at this party.
Asian guy: No, man, there are going to be tons of Koreans there.
–6 train
Overheard by: Elisabeth
Lady: A lot of people came off this train. Why aren’t you people moving in?
Guy: There’s a baby stroller in the back.
Lady: Well, they should move it. Move it over to the side!
Guy: Move a tiny infant baby? Everybody, look! This lady right here is the Antichrist! Move the baby? You the Antichrist!
–6 train
Guy: So that girl we just bumped into…she totally used to do tons of coke. But I think she stopped.
Girl: Isn’t she pregnant?
Guy: Yeah, well, babies cost lots of money.
–A train
Overheard by: kevin cooper
Hobo: Oh, you gonna work this car?
Activist guy: Yeah, I got kinda like a political thing goin’ on here. I hope you don’t mind if I work here.
Hobo: A’right, fine, whateva.
–6 train
Overheard by: shahid waseem
Hobo: Hey, I’m not selling candy for the basketball team. I’m not selling candy for the football team. I’m not selling candy for the afterschool program. In fact, I’m not selling anything. I just want your money so I can buy pot and beer and crack. And Viagara. I hear you need Viagara when you’re on the crack…Hi, miss. You have the prettiest eyes I’ve seen in 20 minutes…You, no! Get out. I am working this car. Get out. No candy!
–5 train
Girl #1: Remember when we would go out, make up stories and fake names?
Girl #2: Yeah, that was fun.
Girl #1: We really need to lie more.
–6 train
Girl #1: I can’t believe last year you had a boyfriend and this year you have a girlfriend! It’s like so nasty.
Girl #2: Oh please, next year you’re going to have a girlfriend too.
Girl #1: Hell no I ain’t. I made it through last year without a girlfriend and I’ll make it through this year too!
–6 train
Overheard by: Kimberly
Guy #1: Hey, is your guitar nice?
Guy #2: Yeah, it’s pretty nice.
Guy #1: I’ll take your word for it. I’m gonna get $300 for it in about an hour.
–F train
Girl: So I’m gonna be doing this punch thing
Guy: Oh…yeah, I heard about that. Yeah, like, that punch was making a comeback.
Girl: Oh yeah, like, punch is really trendy.
–F train
Guy #1: Why you wanna fuck wit dat shit?
Guy #2: You are stupid, nigga! ‘Cause it’s safe to sell without a handgun.
–A train
Guy: Yo, I didn’t touch you. Did I touch you? No, I didn’t. If I put my hand in your pocket, that’s not touching you.
–1 train
Overheard by: Isaiah Tanenbaum
