Mom: You see? You almost hit that nice lady. Then she would have sued you and took all your PlayStation games
–N 12th & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sonibug13
Mom: No, Cyrus! Don’t touch that! You have ringworm!
–Post office, Upper West Side
Mom: You see? You almost hit that nice lady. Then she would have sued you and took all your PlayStation games
–N 12th & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sonibug13
Mom: No, Cyrus! Don’t touch that! You have ringworm!
–Post office, Upper West Side
Guy #1 on cell: Hey it’s me. Listen, I’m about to walk into the subway, I’m gonna lose you, I just wanted to tell you that my parents are gonna be there tonight, and I know you didn’t want them to see your tattoos the first time they met you, so I wanted to tell you so you could…oh. Hi, Mrs. Goldstein.
Guy #1 to guy #2: FUCK! I cannot believe I just did that! Her mother had no idea she has tattoos.
Guy #2: I don’t see the big deal, so she has tattoos, everyone has…wait, did you say her last name was Goldstein? I get it now.
–Astor Place
Hipster looking at parade thug boy wearing flag: Oh look, it’s Puerto Rican Superman.
Hipster’s mom: Shhhh! He heard you.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Judy
Yuppie mom: Do you think my baby is old enough to do yoga?
–Union & Henry, Red Hook
Pregnant woman on cell: Mom, I gotta go. I can’t find Jason and I need to take him home before he plays Hide and Go Soil Yourself behind the stuffer machine.
–Build-A-Bear, 5th & 46th
Overheard by: Anna Lindgren
Little girl #1: Mom, can we have this?
Mother: Not now… Five minutes of silence.
Little girl #2: I want one of those bags!
Mother: Ok…Five minutes of silence or I start swingin’!
–Kings Discount Clothing Store, 18th Ave & 64th St, Bensonhurst
Mother to little girl: Eat your vegetables.
Little girl: I’m opposed to vegetables.
Father: Hey, your brother is opposed to dating women, and apparently we’re letting that one slide.
–Jackson Hole, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Casey girl
Casting person: Ok, here’s the problem, they don’t wan’t a baby with a huge head compared to his chest, nor do they want to see gross veins all over its chest. They want the fucking Gerber baby, ok?
–38th between 7th & 8th
Friend to new mother with infant: All babies look great in black. Did you know that?
–Madison & 91st
Overheard by: Kelly Smith
Woman: Actually, now that they’ve started talking, the twins are much less creepy.
–Central Park
Black guy to his dad: You have to help me. My cock is turning into one of those fucking curly fries.
–71st & Continental
Woman: So I told him, if that’s the urethra you got the wrong hole.
–115th & Broadway
Dad: What are you going to name your new horse, honey?
Little girl with My Little Pony: Skankbag!
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Overheard by: Michelle
