French guy: You know, I like to make happy with the pretty girls, but not the so pretty girls.
–Rivington & Orchard
Overheard by: Collin
Guy: If she had broken up with me before the end of the school year, I would have had a shot at nailing all of her friends.
–Thompson & Houston
Overheard by: Ryan
Girl: Excuse me! Do you have a girlfriend?
Guy passerby: Yes [keeps walking].
Girl: But does she appreciate you? You’re beautiful!
–Broadway, near City Hall Park
Overheard by: just walkin
Homie #1: Daaamn, ladies.
Homie #2: How about a little one-on-one, or four-on-three?
Cute girl #1: Eat shit!
Cute girl #2: You’re the reason I rub feces all over my vagina!
–Clinton & Stanton
Brooklyn girl #1: So I was in this restaurant and some guy asks the owner who I am and gets my phone number and calls me. That’s weird.
Brooklyn girl #2: That’s not weird, that’s cute.
Brooklyn girl #1: Yeah, but he was like 30.
Brooklyn girl #2: Ew, that’s weird.
–D train
Overheard by: Jen
Old man: Why do I have to download ringtones when it never rings anyway?
–Worldwide Plaza, 49th & 8th
Overheard by: mark manne
Wannabe Player: It is a pleasure to have the honor of being in your company.
–Halloween Party, Greenwich Village
Where: Time Square Toys R Us
Cashier: May I have your phone number, starting with the area code, please?
Customer: You’re not my type.
Don Juan: Sure I got a seven inch dick, but the thing no one ever talks about is I got a seven inch ball sack, too.
–Avenue A
Guy: You are a compelling argument against homosexuality. You are a very pretty girl.
–72nd St Station
Guy #1: I talked to the redhead girl.
Guy #2: No, I said to talk to the red sweater girl.
Guy #1: Oh, I thought you said the redhead girl.
Guy #2: Well, what’d she say, anyway?
–The Dublin Harp, UWS
Overheard by: Travis York
Server: Oh no, not you again! Whatchoo want?
Customer: ‘talian col’ cut.
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: I said ‘talian col’ cut!
Server: Whatchoo want on it?
Customer: Damn baby, I want you on it!
Server: Shit, you wouldn’t even know what to do with me!
Customer: Damn baby, I eat that shit!
–Bed-Stuy deli
