Sorority girl: I’m in three exclusive relationships right now.
–uptown 1 train
Overheard by: molz
Sorority girl: I’m in three exclusive relationships right now.
–uptown 1 train
Overheard by: molz
Hardhat #1: Hera.
Hardhat #2: Hera?
Hardhat #3: Yeah, you know, his wife.
Hardhat #2: Well, I know she was Zeus’s wife, but who was Chronos’s wife?
Hardhat #1: I don’t know.
Hardhat #3: Maybe he didn’t have a wife.
–7th & Ave B
Overheard by: Rhea
Dude #1: …so do you think I can have dibs on her, or is that not a good idea?
Dude #2: What do you mean?
Dude #1: Well, she had an abortion six weeks ago.
Dude #2: Oh dude, what are you doing!?
Dude #1: Yeah, but can't she not get pregnant because she just had an abortion?
Dude #2: Oh, that's a good point. I don't think that works like that…
Dude #1: But it was six weeks ago.
Dude #2: Oh, I thought you said six months ago! Yeah, man, you got a sweet deal there. I can't believe your luck, where do you keep meeting these women!?
–Bathroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.
–78th & Lexington
Sad teen girl: I'm just sad… We had to talk about love and soulmates in English class.
Teen friend: We're teenagers. You gotta be shallow and superficial. That love and soulmate shit is for grownups.
–E Train
Overheard by: grown-up
Girl: What happened?
Guy: Man, that girl brushed up on me, so I turned around, and the bitch said, “Don’t fucking look at me!” and she slapped me!
Girl: Really?!
Guy: And then my girl just starting beating on her!
Girlfriend: Haha yeah! Did you see all that blood?
Guy: Girl must have been coked out for it to come spilling out like that.
Girl: It was crazy! We didn’t know what was going on!
Girlfriend: Its like that time at the club when I took off my shoe!
–Kellogg Diner, Brooklyn
College girl #1: For two people who've been together for so long, Jen and Mike really haven't done much in bed. She was so surprised to hear how far I went with Steve.
College girl #2: I thought they've had sex?
College girl #1: Yeah, but he's never seen her boobs!!
College girl #2: They had sex and he's never seen her boobs? Nate has seen my boobs–does that make me a whore?
College girl #1: Steve has seen my boobs too…
College girl #2: Who is more of a whore?
College girl #1: Me–definitely me.
College girl #2: I don't think so.
College girl #1: Let's have a competition.
College girl #2: I met him over the internet!
College girl #1: Oh yeah! You win.
–Union Square
College girl on cell: I need that like I need a dick in the ass.
Random guy: I can help with that.
Girl, to guy: I was … being metaphysical … metaphorical?
Guy: I’ll take it either way.
Girl: Yeah, sarcastic … what she said [points to phone].
Guy: Well, I was being serious.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Lizzerd
Man on phone: So you know that guy whose mouth I farted in? He was totally at the bar last night.
–4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: not that guy
Hobo to his dog: Was that you who farted or me? Because I think it was you.
–67th & Amsterdam
NYU kid on cell: No, no, dude! You're not hearing me! I'm telling you that we were playing the game "I never" and the question was "I've never farted in an elevator" …yeah! I know! But here's the thing, dude! She claimed she'd never farted! (laughs) Nooo, dude! You heard me right: Never ever. And I gotta tell you, bro: it's creepin' me out!
–La Guardia b/w Bleecker & Houston
Overheard by: Elevator Bomb Dropper
Jealous guy: I hope her boyfriend farts in her face and she gets pink eye.
–L Train
Woman on cell: Now, honey, tell the truth. Did you fart on Santa's lap?
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Unfortunate-looking guy: …and I met this girl there so I'm pretty excited to go back.
Female friend: Is she blind?
Unfortunate-looking guy: No, she's actually a brunette and she's got freckles.
Female friend: No, I asked you if she was blind.
Unfortunate-looking guy: I missed you so much.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lauren
