A Gangsta Paradise of Wednesday One-Liners

Thug: Last I heard, he was being charged with some serious shit — accessory to kidnapping, accessory to rape… That’s why you can’t hang out with niggas that’s in love.

–Q19A bus

Overheard by: A White Bear

Thug referencing billboard of The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines: Yo, that’s an action flick ’bout the Dewey Decimal system!

–49th & Broadway

Overheard by: Nikki W

Thug on cell: Whatchoo mean, it ‘wasn’t a successful relationship’? I stuck it in her butt 14 times! That’s what I call a successful relationship.

–12th St & 4th Ave

Thug teen with sideways ball cap and pants around his knees: It’s like she tryin’ to be fashionable, but it just ain’t workin’, yo!

–34th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: knows better than to wear hats sideways

Young thug to friends: She makes me all romantic… Like, I want to fuck her under the stars and shit.

–Grand & Broadway

Overheard by: Ramona

Thug reading High Times: Shit! I did not just miss my stop again!

–6 train

Overheard by: HelloClairice

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, On Cell, Relationships, Thugs

“Hole foods?”

Guy #1: So I had my colonoscopy Tuesday. It was like I lost an hour out of my life.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Oh that stuff they give you to make you sleepy. It gives you
amnesia or something.
Guy #2: That’s messed up.
Guy #1: So my girlfriend tells me afterwords like five times that they removed a polyp and that they think it could be pre-cancerous. I won’t know until next week or something.
Guy #2: So where do you want to get lunch?

–Wall between Pearl & Hanover

Overheard by: Barb Ordell

Posted on February 6, 2015
Food, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Poop, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Fair Enough

Skanky woman: If you've got so many phones, why do you never call me?
Skanky man, shouting: Because I'm a drug addict!

–Union Square

Overheard by: dionneloftus

Posted on February 6, 2015
Biotechs, Drugs, Men, Questions, Relationships, Union Square and East Village

Where Are They Now?: Dr. Laura

Bag lady: Can you spare some change?
Woman: No, I’m sorry.
Bag lady: Is that your boyfriend? Lose him.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Husband.

Posted on February 4, 2015
Crazies, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Penn Station, Relationships, Sex & Relationships

After I Rob Your Corpse, of Course

Girlfriend: I am going to kill myself and blame it on you.
Boyfriend: Great… I’ll sign your suicide note!

–Broadway & Lafayette

Overheard by: sneakey black guy

Posted on February 3, 2015
Boyfriends, Couples, Fighting and ass kicking, Girlfriends, Relationships, Suicide, The Village, Threats

Though Yesterday I Did Say, “I Love Your New Prada Loafers.”

Trendy homo: Last Tuesday was so much fun!
Boy toy: Last Tuesday is when I broke up with you.
Trendy homo: Yea, but nothing has really changed. I just don't have to say “I love you” anymore when we're having sex.

–56th & 9th

Posted on February 1, 2015
Boys, Breaking Up, Compare/Contrast, Default, Queer guys, Relationships, Sex, Words

I Only Care About the Important Things, Like the Size of His Apartment

Girl #1: … So, do you have a thing for him?
Girl #2: No. I mean he’s cute, but he’s overweight and doesn’t dress that well.
Girl #1: That never stops me!

–1 Train

Overheard by: p9

Posted on February 1, 2015
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Default, Diet/Weight, Fashion, Friends, Girls, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Relationships

Better Get Allen Ludden to Settle This

Girl #1: …I mean, I can think of plenty better reasons why I shouldn’t date him than the fact that we’re semi-related.
Girl #2: …Um, I don’t think a better reason exists than that one.
Girl #1: You are really turning it into something that it’s not. the key word here is “semi”.
Girl #2: No! The key word here is “related“!

–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station

Posted on January 28, 2015
Brooklyn, Dating, Friendship, Kink, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity

Unfortunately Your Idiocy Has Been Immortalized

Brooklyn chick #1: He’s totally self-destructive.
Brooklyn chick #2: Yeah, I know, but so am I, just in a different way, ya know? I’m only self destructive to me, not to other people… wait, forget that I just said that.

–F train

Overheard by: Natalie P.

Posted on January 25, 2015
Girls, On the Subway, Relationships, Violence

Recipe: 9 Months for a Gay Baby, 8 Months for a Thug

Gay thug #1: I wasn’t hitting on you, I was still with my ex-boyfriend then.
Gay thug #2: Then? Nigga, I wasn’t even gay eight months ago.

–Wendy’s, W. 3rd Street

Overheard by: Lizzy Vegas

Posted on January 18, 2015
Dating, Junk Food & Fast Food, Queers, Relationships, The Village, Thugs

Relationships