Trendy homo: Last Tuesday was so much fun!
Boy toy: Last Tuesday is when I broke up with you.
Trendy homo: Yea, but nothing has really changed. I just don't have to say “I love you” anymore when we're having sex.
–56th & 9th
Trendy homo: Last Tuesday was so much fun!
Boy toy: Last Tuesday is when I broke up with you.
Trendy homo: Yea, but nothing has really changed. I just don't have to say “I love you” anymore when we're having sex.
–56th & 9th
Girl #1: … So, do you have a thing for him?
Girl #2: No. I mean he’s cute, but he’s overweight and doesn’t dress that well.
Girl #1: That never stops me!
–1 Train
Overheard by: p9
Girl #1: …I mean, I can think of plenty better reasons why I shouldn’t date him than the fact that we’re semi-related.
Girl #2: …Um, I don’t think a better reason exists than that one.
Girl #1: You are really turning it into something that it’s not. the key word here is “semi”.
Girl #2: No! The key word here is “related“!
–Hoyt-Schermerhorn station
Brooklyn chick #1: He’s totally self-destructive.
Brooklyn chick #2: Yeah, I know, but so am I, just in a different way, ya know? I’m only self destructive to me, not to other people… wait, forget that I just said that.
–F train
Overheard by: Natalie P.
Gay thug #1: I wasn’t hitting on you, I was still with my ex-boyfriend then.
Gay thug #2: Then? Nigga, I wasn’t even gay eight months ago.
–Wendy’s, W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Lizzy Vegas
Girl: If you ever make me sleep in an ATM vestibule again, I am so dumping you.
–Grand Central
Woman on cell: Yeah, sure, go ahead and break my heart, but don’t keep my CDs.
–3rd & A
Overheard by: Kira
Crying woman on cell: No, I don’t want to do it with you. I just want the money!
–66th & Columbus
Overheard by: Charlie
Chick on cell: Yeah, I was there like you said but he wasn’t there. You said he’d be there!…Well, fuck you too! I’m going to kill you when I get home you motherfuckin’ bastard! You better say goodbye to your balls!…What?…Yeah. Sure. I’m up for some Chinese later…Bye baby…I love you too, pumpkin.
–Canal & West Broadway
Cashier guy: I told you I have a girlfriend, that’s why my face is all scratched up.”
–Home Depot, 59th Street
Cute blonde: So, Mike is going back to his ex-girlfriend.
Cute redhead: Ewww! Why? He's a moron. This is exactly why my new year's resolution is to become a cutter and start smoking again.
Cute blonde: Seriously, I'm ready to slice my shit.
Cute redhead: Oh! We should we bedazzle our razor blades.
Cute blonde: Yes! I'm putting hearts on mine. You know, in the name of love.
–W Broadway & Spring
Bald, dorky white guy on date: What kind of Italian restaurant doesn’t have Chicken Parmesan on the menu?
Homely-looking white girl on date: I know.
–Isola, 83rd & Columbus
Sorority girl: I’m in three exclusive relationships right now.
–uptown 1 train
Overheard by: molz
Hardhat #1: Hera.
Hardhat #2: Hera?
Hardhat #3: Yeah, you know, his wife.
Hardhat #2: Well, I know she was Zeus’s wife, but who was Chronos’s wife?
Hardhat #1: I don’t know.
Hardhat #3: Maybe he didn’t have a wife.
–7th & Ave B
Overheard by: Rhea
