Queer #1: Let’s hit the discount button bins on 39th.
Queer #2: Excuse me? That boy fucked you up bad.
Queer #1: What? I love buttons.
Queer #2: You still have some of that joint?
–10th & 6th
Overheard by: isaac
Queer #1: Let’s hit the discount button bins on 39th.
Queer #2: Excuse me? That boy fucked you up bad.
Queer #1: What? I love buttons.
Queer #2: You still have some of that joint?
–10th & 6th
Overheard by: isaac
Guy: I’m looking for something Onassis-like.
Salesgirl: Jackie or Ari?
–Sunglass Hut, Spring & W Broadway
Overheard by: Bette Davis Eyes
Tourist: Will you take $20 for that bag?
Street vendor: Twenty? You’ve got nerve. I’ll pray for you.
Tourist: Pray that someone is stupid enough to pay more than twenty bucks for that plastic piece of shit.
–52nd & Madison
Guy #1: My ass is killing me.
Guy #2: Really? Mine feels alright.
Guy #1: Well, you weren’t doing what I was doing all day. It feels like someone ripped my ass off and stapled it back on.
–Paragon Sporting Goods, 17th & Broadway
Overheard by: ericaS
Yuppie mom: Do you think my baby is old enough to do yoga?
–Union & Henry, Red Hook
Pregnant woman on cell: Mom, I gotta go. I can’t find Jason and I need to take him home before he plays Hide and Go Soil Yourself behind the stuffer machine.
–Build-A-Bear, 5th & 46th
Overheard by: Anna Lindgren
Little girl #1: Mom, can we have this?
Mother: Not now… Five minutes of silence.
Little girl #2: I want one of those bags!
Mother: Ok…Five minutes of silence or I start swingin’!
–Kings Discount Clothing Store, 18th Ave & 64th St, Bensonhurst
Guy at register: So, where do you go to college?
Girl checking out with mom: Erm, Wellesley.
Guy at register: Oh no way! I went to Wellesley! How is it these days?
–Columbia University
Street vendor: Watches — five dollars.
Guy: Five dollars? What’s the catch?
Street vendor becomes nervous and looks around.
Street vendor: They’ll never catch me!
— Fulton St
Overheard by: elephant
Vendor: I hate customers like you, with your big bills for a 95-cent drink.
Ghetto thug: I could always shoot your old ass, and have the soda for free if that makes making change any easier.
–207th & Broadway
Little boy: Mommy, you should try Black Swan.
Mom: Why don’t you be quiet for a little bit?
–PJ Liquor Warehouse, 207th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy Hobin
