Older sister: I mean, you handled that breakup really well. If I didn't see you that weekend, I would have never known something went wrong. He totally dicked you over…
Little sister: He didn't totally dick me over, he was a total dick. There's a difference.
–NYU
Eight-year-old girl to older brother: I don't like booooooys!
10-year-old brother: I don't like boys, either!
Kids' ghetto mom to son: Boy, you betta like boys or I'mma pull your dick off.
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: E.C.
Girl #1: Mom wants you to dress Jose up for Halloween.
Girl #2: He’s only 1 1/2 years old. What would I do that for?
Girl #1: Dress him up as an M&M.
Girl #2: Oh, right.
–L Train
Overheard by: Christopher
Sister #1: You know what Auntie Cathy* said last week? She said that, back in the 40’s, Aunt Mary* was a huge slut! She said, and I quote, “She had the clap so many times it amounted to applause.”
Sister #2: And I thought the only hobby she ever had was crocheting those ugly stuffed animals.
–Quizno’s, 14th & 3rd
8-year-old: Today Jahzeer and Wassef told Steven he was gay and lesbian! And Steven started to cry!
Older sister: Oh. And did you tell them that wasn’t very nice?
8-year-old: No. The teacher started yelling at them! It was very entertaining. I was excited to be there.
–Corona, Queens
Overheard by: Amy
[Twenty something chick stops in the middle of the store and looks around.]Twenty something dude, who is obviously brother of twenty something chick: What? What are you looking for?
Twenty something chick: The condoms.
–Duane Reade, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Young girl: Mommy, is Canada in Europe?
Sister of young girl: Of course it is, stupid! It's right next to Quebec.
Mom: Uh, no honey, it's in…
Sister of young girl: It's in Europe.
Mom: No, it's in…
Sister of young girl: Europe!
Mom: Fine! Canada is in Europe.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lydia
Boy: You know what, I don’t know anyone who has such good taste in fashion as me, and I’m only twelve!
Mom: Honey, stop saying those things. People will think you’re arrogant.
Girl: It’s only arrogance if you’re wrong.
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Little girl, as car alarm goes off when she passes by: What was that?
Older sister: Oh, don't worry, it was probably me.
Little girl: Psh! You're not that hot!
–26th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lara
