Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: Cream cheese?
Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: French toast bagel, yes, but did you have cream cheese on it?!
–Au Bon Pain, 44th & Madison
Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: Cream cheese?
Customer: French toast bagel.
Cashier: French toast bagel, yes, but did you have cream cheese on it?!
–Au Bon Pain, 44th & Madison
Guy: What’s that on your finger?
Girl: It’s a ring.
Guy: I think your ring has an infection.
–South Street Seaport
Automated announcement: Bus operators are protected by New York state law. Assaulting a bus operator is a felony.
Guy sitting behind bus operator, loud: Hooray!
Bus operator: Scaring me is a misdemeanor.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert
Clueless European tourist: Is this the train to, um, men-a-tin?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: Where?
Clueless European tourist, carefully: Man-hat-tan?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: You're in Manhattan already!
Clueless European tourist, looking around confused: Um, downtown?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: That's the only place this train goes. You can't go anywhere else from here!
–A Train, 207th St
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Young pretty brunette: I think that I'm anemic, I bruise so easily.
Young ditzy blonde: Oh my god! You, like, starve yourself?
Young pretty brunette: I literally felt myself get dumber after you said that. I don't understand why I associate myself with morons.
–Starbucks, 51st & Broadway
Girl #1: Those are like really nice cars.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. They're like Toyotas, right?
Girl #1: No.
–Mercedes-Benz Showroom, Park Ave
Overheard by: Lydia
Father: And on the way home, I spent $20 on produce.
20-something daughter: On a what?
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: amd
Flyer guy to hot blonde chick: Hey, where are you from?
Hot blonde chick, indignantly: Here.
Flyer guy: What are you doing in Times Square?
Hot blonde chick, rudely: Leaving!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stephen
Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.
–6th & 23rd
Preteen boy #1, looking at tiny Yorkie: Wow, that is the smallest thing I've ever seen.
Preteen boy #2: That's what she said.
Preteen boy #1: Yeah, that's what she didn't say about you! I mean, that's what she didn't say to me! That's what she said about you!
–30th Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: real smooth.
